Unfortunately I have bad news.....this story was written by me on a different site but sadly the site is no longer so I lost the story. :-( It was a few chapters from being done and I was starting a spin off story as well.
So I am putting this story on hiatus for now until I figure what I'm going to do. I may bring it back to life just don't know yet because I'm still hurt about the loss.
:-(
Friday, October 30, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Chapter Fifteen
Anthony
"Why didn't you tell me you were supposed to see your daughter last night? Do you know how bad I felt Rissy already doesn't like me and now she thinks I kept you from your daughter!"
I couldn't believe she was coming at me like this.
"Whoa Whoa why is everybody making such a big deal about this. I talked to Anaya and told her I'd see her tonight she's okay so why does everybody else have problem with it."
"Because Anthony you can't tell a child something and don't do it they remember those things."
I still didn't understand what the big deal was and I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore.
"I'm sorry okay I didn't mean to make you feel bad I know you wouldn't keep me from my daughter I just wanted to make sure things were good between us and about Rissy it's not that she doesn't like you she just wants me to get back with Maya and that's not gonna happen."
Her face was still frowned up. I ran my hand down her face to make her smile. It worked.
"Is Meech going to be home tonight?" I asked walking her to the door.
"No she's working graveyard again."
"Good I may stop back by."
"No you go spend time with your daughter I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said pushing me away.
"Just for a little while."
"No." she said unlocking the door.
"Come on it'll only take two minutes."
"If that's how long it's going to take you definitely not coming in."
She made me laugh.
"You too much you know that."
"But that's why you love me," she kissed me and we said our good nights.
I headed to Maya's thinking how happy I was Ang is back in my life.
Maya's hair fell down around her face as she opened the door. That uncombed look use to turn me on at one time but that memory faded real quick.
"Anaya your dad is here!" she rolled her eyes as she let me in.
"Hi Daddy."
I picked her up and kissed her.
"Dang girl you almost tall as me, what you been eating?"
"Come, let me show you what I got."
I missed her birthday but I made sure I sent her gift. I followed as she pulled me to her bedroom. She showed me the many outfits she'd gotten and other girly stuff that I knew nothing about.
"Where's my gift?"
She pulled out the necklace from under her shirt and pulled up her sleeve to show me the matching bracelet.
"You make sure you keep them in mommy's jewelry box so you don't lose them."
"I don't have to I have my own now. Mommy's friend Daniel bought me one."
I know she didn't just say what I thought she said.
"Mommy's friend Danielle."
"No Daniel, he's a guy," she laughed but I didn't.
She showed me a few more things but my curiosity was bubbling.
"I'll be right back sweetie."
I pulled her bedroom door ajar so she didn't her the conversation I was about to have with her mother.
I sat on the arm of the sofa trying not to make it too obvious I was upset about the information I just heard. I spoke slow.
"So uh who's Daniel?"
"A friend," she said never taking her eyes off the television.
"Why is this friend buying gifts for my daughter," I said still trying to remain calm.
"Why are you out here questioning me about something that's none of your business."
I snapped.
"Who the fuk is this dude you got around my daughter!"
"Don't cuss at me and lower your voice!" she said now facing me.
"So you dating this dude."
"Maybe."
"I don't want him around my daughter."
"Well if he's with me he's going to be around my daughter!"
"Oh so it's like that. What you all in love now and shxt too?"
"You could say that, he makes me happy and I haven't been happy in a long time."
"Oh is that right so I didn't make you happy."
"Why are you in here when you're supposed to be visiting Anaya."
"Answer the question did I make you happy Maya!"
"NO! you didn't."
"You mean to tell me all the years we spent together you weren't happy?"
She looked back at the television and ignored me, pissed me off, my whole night was ruined I had to leave before I did or said something I'd regret. I kissed Anaya and told her I'd pick her up tomorrow and take her to see her Grandma.
Maya's words fuked me up how could she say I never made her happy. Now she seeing some punk ass nicca, fuk him, fuk them, I only cared about my daughter anyway.
"Anthony what's wrong?" my mom asked as I stormed past her and headed to the kitchen to pour me a drink.
"Hey what's up talk to me," she said.
"Can you believe Maya said I never made her happy?" I downed the glass of Henessey and poured me another, "does she know how much I loved her and now she got some clown around my daughter buying her gifts and shxt."
"Come sit down," my mom said softly.
I sat at the kitchen table while my mother proceeded to talk to me.
"I don't think she meant you never made her happy but at one point in your relationship something changed."
"Yeah she changed, that's why we argue so damn much."
"Anthony what I'm going to tell you I'm telling you out of love not to make you angry or take sides."
She paused then started again.
"You are so much like you dad, you're charming you're loving but baby sometimes you can be selfish.
I didn't want to hear this.
"You want what you want when you want it and how you want it and if it doesn't go your way you lash out and you lash out hard and you get very mean. I can't tell you how many times Maya called me crying about you. She loved you so much she didn't want to leave but it was making her sick to stay."
"She knew I wanted to do music and she said she was okay with it."
"She was okay with it Anthony and she supported you totally but somewhere down the line baby you forgot about her and your daughter."
"I was there for them what are you talking about."
"She was raising Anaya basically by herself while trying to take care of a household and you she got burned out Anthony she gave and gave and gave and didn't get anything in return."
"So now you saying I wasn't good to her."
"I'm sure you did the best you could baby but when she needed you you weren't there for her like she was for you."
"But how is she gon have some other dude all around my daughter."
"Daniel is really nice and he loves Maya and Anaya."
"You knew and you didn't tell me."
"I told Maya it was her place to tell you."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"What did you expect her to do Anthony stay single the rest of her life?"
"Yeah and raise our daughter."
"I'm a say this and then I'm going to bed Maya is a beautiful woman I wished things would've worked out with you two but it didn't you moved on Anthony so let her."
I drank the last of my drink I had a lot to sleep on.
"Why didn't you tell me you were supposed to see your daughter last night? Do you know how bad I felt Rissy already doesn't like me and now she thinks I kept you from your daughter!"
I couldn't believe she was coming at me like this.
"Whoa Whoa why is everybody making such a big deal about this. I talked to Anaya and told her I'd see her tonight she's okay so why does everybody else have problem with it."
"Because Anthony you can't tell a child something and don't do it they remember those things."
I still didn't understand what the big deal was and I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore.
"I'm sorry okay I didn't mean to make you feel bad I know you wouldn't keep me from my daughter I just wanted to make sure things were good between us and about Rissy it's not that she doesn't like you she just wants me to get back with Maya and that's not gonna happen."
Her face was still frowned up. I ran my hand down her face to make her smile. It worked.
"Is Meech going to be home tonight?" I asked walking her to the door.
"No she's working graveyard again."
"Good I may stop back by."
"No you go spend time with your daughter I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said pushing me away.
"Just for a little while."
"No." she said unlocking the door.
"Come on it'll only take two minutes."
"If that's how long it's going to take you definitely not coming in."
She made me laugh.
"You too much you know that."
"But that's why you love me," she kissed me and we said our good nights.
I headed to Maya's thinking how happy I was Ang is back in my life.
Maya's hair fell down around her face as she opened the door. That uncombed look use to turn me on at one time but that memory faded real quick.
"Anaya your dad is here!" she rolled her eyes as she let me in.
"Hi Daddy."
I picked her up and kissed her.
"Dang girl you almost tall as me, what you been eating?"
"Come, let me show you what I got."
I missed her birthday but I made sure I sent her gift. I followed as she pulled me to her bedroom. She showed me the many outfits she'd gotten and other girly stuff that I knew nothing about.
"Where's my gift?"
She pulled out the necklace from under her shirt and pulled up her sleeve to show me the matching bracelet.
"You make sure you keep them in mommy's jewelry box so you don't lose them."
"I don't have to I have my own now. Mommy's friend Daniel bought me one."
I know she didn't just say what I thought she said.
"Mommy's friend Danielle."
"No Daniel, he's a guy," she laughed but I didn't.
She showed me a few more things but my curiosity was bubbling.
"I'll be right back sweetie."
I pulled her bedroom door ajar so she didn't her the conversation I was about to have with her mother.
I sat on the arm of the sofa trying not to make it too obvious I was upset about the information I just heard. I spoke slow.
"So uh who's Daniel?"
"A friend," she said never taking her eyes off the television.
"Why is this friend buying gifts for my daughter," I said still trying to remain calm.
"Why are you out here questioning me about something that's none of your business."
I snapped.
"Who the fuk is this dude you got around my daughter!"
"Don't cuss at me and lower your voice!" she said now facing me.
"So you dating this dude."
"Maybe."
"I don't want him around my daughter."
"Well if he's with me he's going to be around my daughter!"
"Oh so it's like that. What you all in love now and shxt too?"
"You could say that, he makes me happy and I haven't been happy in a long time."
"Oh is that right so I didn't make you happy."
"Why are you in here when you're supposed to be visiting Anaya."
"Answer the question did I make you happy Maya!"
"NO! you didn't."
"You mean to tell me all the years we spent together you weren't happy?"
She looked back at the television and ignored me, pissed me off, my whole night was ruined I had to leave before I did or said something I'd regret. I kissed Anaya and told her I'd pick her up tomorrow and take her to see her Grandma.
Maya's words fuked me up how could she say I never made her happy. Now she seeing some punk ass nicca, fuk him, fuk them, I only cared about my daughter anyway.
"Anthony what's wrong?" my mom asked as I stormed past her and headed to the kitchen to pour me a drink.
"Hey what's up talk to me," she said.
"Can you believe Maya said I never made her happy?" I downed the glass of Henessey and poured me another, "does she know how much I loved her and now she got some clown around my daughter buying her gifts and shxt."
"Come sit down," my mom said softly.
I sat at the kitchen table while my mother proceeded to talk to me.
"I don't think she meant you never made her happy but at one point in your relationship something changed."
"Yeah she changed, that's why we argue so damn much."
"Anthony what I'm going to tell you I'm telling you out of love not to make you angry or take sides."
She paused then started again.
"You are so much like you dad, you're charming you're loving but baby sometimes you can be selfish.
I didn't want to hear this.
"You want what you want when you want it and how you want it and if it doesn't go your way you lash out and you lash out hard and you get very mean. I can't tell you how many times Maya called me crying about you. She loved you so much she didn't want to leave but it was making her sick to stay."
"She knew I wanted to do music and she said she was okay with it."
"She was okay with it Anthony and she supported you totally but somewhere down the line baby you forgot about her and your daughter."
"I was there for them what are you talking about."
"She was raising Anaya basically by herself while trying to take care of a household and you she got burned out Anthony she gave and gave and gave and didn't get anything in return."
"So now you saying I wasn't good to her."
"I'm sure you did the best you could baby but when she needed you you weren't there for her like she was for you."
"But how is she gon have some other dude all around my daughter."
"Daniel is really nice and he loves Maya and Anaya."
"You knew and you didn't tell me."
"I told Maya it was her place to tell you."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"What did you expect her to do Anthony stay single the rest of her life?"
"Yeah and raise our daughter."
"I'm a say this and then I'm going to bed Maya is a beautiful woman I wished things would've worked out with you two but it didn't you moved on Anthony so let her."
I drank the last of my drink I had a lot to sleep on.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Chapter Fourteen
Angela
Waking up next to him felt good and the early morning sex wasn't bad either. He lay next to me with his head on his hand and a question on his face.
"What?"
"I still can't believe you were in prison."
"That was the longest three years of my life but it's an experience I'll never forget."
Lynn, my cellmate she was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. Rumor was she murdered her husband while he was sleep. He too was an abuser but since she never told anyone filed a police report or had any hospital records the jury didn't believe it was self defense. She took me under her wing. No homo thing she just had a daughter my age and she looked out for me. Nobody messed with Lynn and since I was her cellmate nobody messed with me. I seen her beat a female unconscious there was blood everywhere I thought for sure she was dead. She schooled me on a lot of things and she made sure I was treated right. At a glance she looked like any other inmate with all the cuts and bruises on her face but when you really look at her you could tell she was very attractive in her younger days. She didn't have visits she rarely got mail but when she did she read the name of the sender then rip it up. This went on for a long time until one day I finally decided to ask.
"Why do you do that?"
"It's from my daughter."
"Don't you want to read it?"
"I can't then I'd miss home too much and I can't think about a place I'd never be again."
"But what if it's something important."
"As long as I get a letter every once an a while from her I know she's alright."
"Do you mind if I read it."
She looked at me then threw the pieces on my bunk.
"If you can put it together help yourself," she said then walked out.
Hi Ma,
Just wanted to let you know Asia had her first birthday on Saturday. Grandma insisted on having a party for her. She is getting so big. Every body says how much she looks like you. I know you don't like to write but I just want you to know I love you and I'm doing fine. Maybe I could come and visit you some time so you can meet your granddaughter. I really miss you mom and I know what you did you did for me and I thank you. I'll send pics soon.
Kylie
"I know what you did you did for me? So that's why they didn't find any evidence of abuse on Lynn's body he didn't abuse her he abused her daughter." I said aloud.
"Is that what you think happened?"
She startled me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in here."
"So you think I killed that bastard for abusing my daughter?"
I sat not saying a word.
"I wanted to but baby he was already dead when I came home."
"Kylie?"
"My baby was only thirteen."
Before I could ask her why she took the rap for her daughter I already knew the answer. She's a mother and a mother is going to protect her child.
"She tried to tell me what he was doing to her but I was too busy to listen, with work and my own issues I was just too busy," her voice cracked as she bit her top lip trying not to cry.
"Did you know you have a granddaughter? Her name is Asia she turned a year on Saturday." She broke down.
That was the first and last time I saw her cry.
"Don't let this experience make you bitter you take it and learn from it. When you get out recognize the signs so you don't fall for the same type of nicca. You deserve better than the Reggie's of this world and don't let nobody tell you different. You take pride in who you are as a woman. You did what you did that's in the past now move on baby. Be that queen your mama raised."
Those were the last words she spoke to me and I'll never forget them. I asked her could I write her but of course she said no. I did give her my parents' address just in case she changed her mind but I never heard from her.
"You were lucky to have met her," Anthony told me.
"I know."
"Are you hungry," he asked trying to lighten the mood.
"A little," I said still tired from our extravaganza.
Anthony cooked while I showered. I heard my door open while I was brushing my teeth.
It was Meech all smiles.
"Why is Anthony in my kitchen half naked cooking," she whispered.
I smiled.
"You ho, but I have to say I taught you well."
We laughed.
"It's ready," he announced in the midst of our laughter.
"Oh good morning Meech, I didn't know you were here," he reached for his shirt on the floor. "It's enough if you want some too."
Me and Meech looked at each other and bust out laughing again.
"You guys are bad," he walked out smiling and shaking his head.
He made our plates and set the table.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat it's plenty," he asked Meech again as we walked to the kitchen.
"Naw you two love birds do your thing."
"My Mom is having a barbecue at the house and I want to you to come."
I wanted to go but I felt uncomfortable about what happened the last time I was there.
"I don't know."
"I promise I won't get into any fights."
We got there around three. Everyone was laughing talking loud and having a good time. I was introduced to new faces and recognized some familiar ones from before.
"You guys go make a plate the foods in the back." Nancy said giving her son the eye I assume for not coming home last night.
"Come on Nicca!!!" I heard someone yell from outside.
There was a domino game and a card game going on.
The food looked so good but I didn't really have an appetite after the breakfast Anthony cooked this morning so I just grabbed a burger. He was piling it on though. For a brother to be so skinny he sure can eat.
"That's all you gon eat?" one of his uncles asked me.
"Yeah."
"That's it baby you watch that lovely figure." he said giving me an up and down look.
"That's for me to do Unc," Ant said.
"I hear that," he said walking away with his tall can of beer in hand singing some song from the seventies.
The backyard was full so I had to sit on Anthony's lap while we ate. That potato salad on his plate was looking good so while he talked I snuck a fork full.
"I know you didn't just eat out of my plate. You better be glad I love you."
We shared a laugh.
"Anthony!"
I turned to see Rissy at the screen door.
"I need to holla at you for a minute," she came toward us.
"I'm eating Riss, what's up."
"Whats up is I need to talk to you."
"I'm here Riss, talk."
"I just got off the phone with Maya you know your daughter's mother and she told me your daughter my neice was looking for you to come see her last night."
I felt so bad I didn't know he was suppose to see his daughter last night. Me and Rissy already didn't quite hit if off for whatever reason so I knew she was going to blame me.
"I talked to my daughter your niece this morning and she's okay."
"I'm just saying you shouldn't let nobody come between you and your daughter," she put emphasis on the word nobody.
Wow I thought to myself so now I'm nobody.
"Ant Dog!!!"
"My nig!!!" Anthony screamed back when he saw the guy. Grady and Jared were right behind him.
Anthony stood up and gave him a quick embrace then introduced us.
"This is my girl Angela, Ang this is my boy Pete."
Pete didn't know how glad I was he came when he did. I don't think I could have taken Rissy any longer without saying anything. Oh but Ant was surely going to hear my mouth when he took me home.
Waking up next to him felt good and the early morning sex wasn't bad either. He lay next to me with his head on his hand and a question on his face.
"What?"
"I still can't believe you were in prison."
"That was the longest three years of my life but it's an experience I'll never forget."
Lynn, my cellmate she was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. Rumor was she murdered her husband while he was sleep. He too was an abuser but since she never told anyone filed a police report or had any hospital records the jury didn't believe it was self defense. She took me under her wing. No homo thing she just had a daughter my age and she looked out for me. Nobody messed with Lynn and since I was her cellmate nobody messed with me. I seen her beat a female unconscious there was blood everywhere I thought for sure she was dead. She schooled me on a lot of things and she made sure I was treated right. At a glance she looked like any other inmate with all the cuts and bruises on her face but when you really look at her you could tell she was very attractive in her younger days. She didn't have visits she rarely got mail but when she did she read the name of the sender then rip it up. This went on for a long time until one day I finally decided to ask.
"Why do you do that?"
"It's from my daughter."
"Don't you want to read it?"
"I can't then I'd miss home too much and I can't think about a place I'd never be again."
"But what if it's something important."
"As long as I get a letter every once an a while from her I know she's alright."
"Do you mind if I read it."
She looked at me then threw the pieces on my bunk.
"If you can put it together help yourself," she said then walked out.
Hi Ma,
Just wanted to let you know Asia had her first birthday on Saturday. Grandma insisted on having a party for her. She is getting so big. Every body says how much she looks like you. I know you don't like to write but I just want you to know I love you and I'm doing fine. Maybe I could come and visit you some time so you can meet your granddaughter. I really miss you mom and I know what you did you did for me and I thank you. I'll send pics soon.
Kylie
"I know what you did you did for me? So that's why they didn't find any evidence of abuse on Lynn's body he didn't abuse her he abused her daughter." I said aloud.
"Is that what you think happened?"
She startled me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in here."
"So you think I killed that bastard for abusing my daughter?"
I sat not saying a word.
"I wanted to but baby he was already dead when I came home."
"Kylie?"
"My baby was only thirteen."
Before I could ask her why she took the rap for her daughter I already knew the answer. She's a mother and a mother is going to protect her child.
"She tried to tell me what he was doing to her but I was too busy to listen, with work and my own issues I was just too busy," her voice cracked as she bit her top lip trying not to cry.
"Did you know you have a granddaughter? Her name is Asia she turned a year on Saturday." She broke down.
That was the first and last time I saw her cry.
"Don't let this experience make you bitter you take it and learn from it. When you get out recognize the signs so you don't fall for the same type of nicca. You deserve better than the Reggie's of this world and don't let nobody tell you different. You take pride in who you are as a woman. You did what you did that's in the past now move on baby. Be that queen your mama raised."
Those were the last words she spoke to me and I'll never forget them. I asked her could I write her but of course she said no. I did give her my parents' address just in case she changed her mind but I never heard from her.
"You were lucky to have met her," Anthony told me.
"I know."
"Are you hungry," he asked trying to lighten the mood.
"A little," I said still tired from our extravaganza.
Anthony cooked while I showered. I heard my door open while I was brushing my teeth.
It was Meech all smiles.
"Why is Anthony in my kitchen half naked cooking," she whispered.
I smiled.
"You ho, but I have to say I taught you well."
We laughed.
"It's ready," he announced in the midst of our laughter.
"Oh good morning Meech, I didn't know you were here," he reached for his shirt on the floor. "It's enough if you want some too."
Me and Meech looked at each other and bust out laughing again.
"You guys are bad," he walked out smiling and shaking his head.
He made our plates and set the table.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat it's plenty," he asked Meech again as we walked to the kitchen.
"Naw you two love birds do your thing."
"My Mom is having a barbecue at the house and I want to you to come."
I wanted to go but I felt uncomfortable about what happened the last time I was there.
"I don't know."
"I promise I won't get into any fights."
We got there around three. Everyone was laughing talking loud and having a good time. I was introduced to new faces and recognized some familiar ones from before.
"You guys go make a plate the foods in the back." Nancy said giving her son the eye I assume for not coming home last night.
"Come on Nicca!!!" I heard someone yell from outside.
There was a domino game and a card game going on.
The food looked so good but I didn't really have an appetite after the breakfast Anthony cooked this morning so I just grabbed a burger. He was piling it on though. For a brother to be so skinny he sure can eat.
"That's all you gon eat?" one of his uncles asked me.
"Yeah."
"That's it baby you watch that lovely figure." he said giving me an up and down look.
"That's for me to do Unc," Ant said.
"I hear that," he said walking away with his tall can of beer in hand singing some song from the seventies.
The backyard was full so I had to sit on Anthony's lap while we ate. That potato salad on his plate was looking good so while he talked I snuck a fork full.
"I know you didn't just eat out of my plate. You better be glad I love you."
We shared a laugh.
"Anthony!"
I turned to see Rissy at the screen door.
"I need to holla at you for a minute," she came toward us.
"I'm eating Riss, what's up."
"Whats up is I need to talk to you."
"I'm here Riss, talk."
"I just got off the phone with Maya you know your daughter's mother and she told me your daughter my neice was looking for you to come see her last night."
I felt so bad I didn't know he was suppose to see his daughter last night. Me and Rissy already didn't quite hit if off for whatever reason so I knew she was going to blame me.
"I talked to my daughter your niece this morning and she's okay."
"I'm just saying you shouldn't let nobody come between you and your daughter," she put emphasis on the word nobody.
Wow I thought to myself so now I'm nobody.
"Ant Dog!!!"
"My nig!!!" Anthony screamed back when he saw the guy. Grady and Jared were right behind him.
Anthony stood up and gave him a quick embrace then introduced us.
"This is my girl Angela, Ang this is my boy Pete."
Pete didn't know how glad I was he came when he did. I don't think I could have taken Rissy any longer without saying anything. Oh but Ant was surely going to hear my mouth when he took me home.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Chapter Thirteen
Angela
"I'm going to get changed. If you want to watch TV the remote is on the table," I told Clint.
He smiled. I rolled my eyes and went to my room mad that Meech had left me alone with him. I put on some sweats and one of Anthony's t-shirts he left pulled my hair back in a ponytail and went to the kitchen.
"Are you thirsty?" I asked getting a bottled water from the refrigerator.
He took a double take when he saw me I knew this wasn't what he expected.
"Why don't you come over here and keep me company," he said.
Negro please! I thought.
"I'm actually going to get ready for bed. I had a long day."
"Can I join you?"
"No but if you're sleepy there's a blanket in the closet."
"So you gon do a brutha like that."
"Yep," I said and went to my room and locked the door.
After listening to the message I got from Anthony I turned off my light and went to sleep.
Anthony
I sang with all that was in me...."seems like the waters run dry and I don't know why...."
As the crowd sang along my heart was breaking. All I could think about was how bad I'd done Ang. She didn't deserve my bullshxt especially not after what she'd been through I had to show her I'm not that guy. I just got caught up.
This was our last show and then we'd be going home of course the after party was poppin girls wall-to-wall trying to get our attention. In the midst of all the chaos I pulled out my phone to call Ang. Of course she let it go to voicemail.
"Ang we'll be home tomorrow night I want to come see you and talk about everything. See you tomorrow. I love you."
After I hung up I called my daughter.
"It's late Anthony," Maya said.
"Just put my daughter on the phone."
She blew. I waited a few moments before I heard my daughter's angelic voice.
"Hello."
"Hey baby girl, you sleep?"
"No I was watching TV."
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'll be home tomorrow."
"Are you coming to see me?"
"Of course baby."
Jared was trying to get my attention.
"I'll call you tomorrow okay sweetheart."
"Ok daddy, I love you."
"I love you too baby."
Angela
I pulled up in the driveway of my apartment building and saw his black Charger parked in the space across from my apartment. I was tempted to drive away but he raised his head and our eyes were locked for a second. He looked tired like he'd been here a while. As I opened my car door he walked up.
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you."
I sat quietly fiddling with my keys. Not sure if I should invite him in or make him stand outside. I reached in the back seat and grabbed my gym bag.
"How long have you been waiting?"
"A couple hours."
I got out of the car and headed to my apartment. I threw my bag on the floor my keys on the counter and turned to face Anthony who was closing the door. I played this moment over and over in my head all day how I was going to act what I was going to say and what I wasn't going to do. I told myself I would not shed another tear over this man. I put on my poker face and sat on the bar stool at the counter. He was leaning against the wall by the front door.
"So what do you want to talk about?"
"Us."
"Us? Is there still an us?" I asked sarcastically.
He thought before he spoke.
"I messed up Ang I know that and it's tearing my up. I miss so much. Just give me a chance to make it up to you."
I looked away this was going to be harder than I thought. In my thoughts I couldn't see his eyes. He looked so damn sincere but how could I be standing here contemplating forgiving him. It wasn't supposed to go this way.
"Why should I do that why should I give you another chance?"
"Because I love you and it won't go away."
That did it I was gone. Before I knew it he grabbed my face and we were kissing.
"I'ma do right by you I promise," he said wiping my tears then kissed me again this time cupping my butt in his hands.
"I need to take a shower," I said in between kisses remembering I just left the gym.
"Come on."
He led me to the bathroom and started the shower.
He undressed me first then himself.
The water felt good running down my body but his hand's felt better. He rubbed and caressed my breasts then his hand slid down to my middle. I let out a soft moan as he played with me. I returned the favor and gave him a hand job.
We moved from the falling water and he leaned me over and entered me from behind.
"Dang baby you wet."
I smiled then said, "I missed you."
He stroked me slow as if trying to remember every part of me. Then he turned me toward him picked me up so my legs were on either side of him and slid inside of me. As he gave me his heat I moaned in satisfaction. I gripped his neck as he tried to keep his balance by holding the wall with one hand and me with the other. His thrusts became quicker and my moans louder. I was losing my breath no I was climaxing. He came shortly after.
"I love you," he said out of breath.
I caught my breath then said, "I love you too but if you ever cheat on me again I'm leaving for good."
"I'm going to get changed. If you want to watch TV the remote is on the table," I told Clint.
He smiled. I rolled my eyes and went to my room mad that Meech had left me alone with him. I put on some sweats and one of Anthony's t-shirts he left pulled my hair back in a ponytail and went to the kitchen.
"Are you thirsty?" I asked getting a bottled water from the refrigerator.
He took a double take when he saw me I knew this wasn't what he expected.
"Why don't you come over here and keep me company," he said.
Negro please! I thought.
"I'm actually going to get ready for bed. I had a long day."
"Can I join you?"
"No but if you're sleepy there's a blanket in the closet."
"So you gon do a brutha like that."
"Yep," I said and went to my room and locked the door.
After listening to the message I got from Anthony I turned off my light and went to sleep.
Anthony
I sang with all that was in me...."seems like the waters run dry and I don't know why...."
As the crowd sang along my heart was breaking. All I could think about was how bad I'd done Ang. She didn't deserve my bullshxt especially not after what she'd been through I had to show her I'm not that guy. I just got caught up.
This was our last show and then we'd be going home of course the after party was poppin girls wall-to-wall trying to get our attention. In the midst of all the chaos I pulled out my phone to call Ang. Of course she let it go to voicemail.
"Ang we'll be home tomorrow night I want to come see you and talk about everything. See you tomorrow. I love you."
After I hung up I called my daughter.
"It's late Anthony," Maya said.
"Just put my daughter on the phone."
She blew. I waited a few moments before I heard my daughter's angelic voice.
"Hello."
"Hey baby girl, you sleep?"
"No I was watching TV."
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'll be home tomorrow."
"Are you coming to see me?"
"Of course baby."
Jared was trying to get my attention.
"I'll call you tomorrow okay sweetheart."
"Ok daddy, I love you."
"I love you too baby."
Angela
I pulled up in the driveway of my apartment building and saw his black Charger parked in the space across from my apartment. I was tempted to drive away but he raised his head and our eyes were locked for a second. He looked tired like he'd been here a while. As I opened my car door he walked up.
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you."
I sat quietly fiddling with my keys. Not sure if I should invite him in or make him stand outside. I reached in the back seat and grabbed my gym bag.
"How long have you been waiting?"
"A couple hours."
I got out of the car and headed to my apartment. I threw my bag on the floor my keys on the counter and turned to face Anthony who was closing the door. I played this moment over and over in my head all day how I was going to act what I was going to say and what I wasn't going to do. I told myself I would not shed another tear over this man. I put on my poker face and sat on the bar stool at the counter. He was leaning against the wall by the front door.
"So what do you want to talk about?"
"Us."
"Us? Is there still an us?" I asked sarcastically.
He thought before he spoke.
"I messed up Ang I know that and it's tearing my up. I miss so much. Just give me a chance to make it up to you."
I looked away this was going to be harder than I thought. In my thoughts I couldn't see his eyes. He looked so damn sincere but how could I be standing here contemplating forgiving him. It wasn't supposed to go this way.
"Why should I do that why should I give you another chance?"
"Because I love you and it won't go away."
That did it I was gone. Before I knew it he grabbed my face and we were kissing.
"I'ma do right by you I promise," he said wiping my tears then kissed me again this time cupping my butt in his hands.
"I need to take a shower," I said in between kisses remembering I just left the gym.
"Come on."
He led me to the bathroom and started the shower.
He undressed me first then himself.
The water felt good running down my body but his hand's felt better. He rubbed and caressed my breasts then his hand slid down to my middle. I let out a soft moan as he played with me. I returned the favor and gave him a hand job.
We moved from the falling water and he leaned me over and entered me from behind.
"Dang baby you wet."
I smiled then said, "I missed you."
He stroked me slow as if trying to remember every part of me. Then he turned me toward him picked me up so my legs were on either side of him and slid inside of me. As he gave me his heat I moaned in satisfaction. I gripped his neck as he tried to keep his balance by holding the wall with one hand and me with the other. His thrusts became quicker and my moans louder. I was losing my breath no I was climaxing. He came shortly after.
"I love you," he said out of breath.
I caught my breath then said, "I love you too but if you ever cheat on me again I'm leaving for good."
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Chapter Twelve
Angela
I sat on my bed looking in the closet wondering what I was going to wear. I don't know why I always let Meech talk me into things. She met these guys from UCLA and told them we'd meet them at the club tonight. I was kind of tired of having my pity party so I told her I'd go out with her.
"He better be worth all this," I joked.
The guy I was meeting was Clint. What kind of name was Clint I thought. He was okay looking had a nice body from what I could see through his shirt but I was turned off when he smiled showing a gap between his teeth. I'm not superficial or anything but I like what I like and I dislike what I dislike and I definitely wasn't feeling his teeth. We danced to a few songs and I was getting tired. I was about to tell him I wanted to sit down but Sean Paul and Estelle's Come Over came on. I began to whine up dey boy.
"Ooh yeah," he said trying to follow my movement.
I could tell this dance was exciting him by the look in his eyes. He must've thought this was an invitation for sex.
He tried to put his hand on my butt.
Slow down perv this is only a dance.
"I don't know you like that," I said.
"Sorry I just got caught up in the moment."
After the dance we found a place to sit.
He told me about school and his job. I tried to act interested but I kept zoning in and out while he talked not that he wasn't interesting he just wasn't who I wanted to be here with.
"Did you hear me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry what did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted a drink."
"No thank you, I'm fine."
"That you are," he said showing his gap.
Ugh, I felt sick.
While he was getting his drink I looked on the dance floor and Meech was having a ball. I wished I could be more like her. When a guy treats her like shxt she just moves on to the next one but me I have to fall all in love and end up hurt.
Just then my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen. I wanted so much to answer it but I didn't. He's called non stop the past few weeks letting me know how sorry he is and what can he do to make things right between us again. It made me feel good to know he was thinking about me. I smiled when I thought about the message he left last week.
"Ang I know you hate me and I know I put you through a lot but I want to sing this song for you. This is how I feel about us.
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?
Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love you and you love me
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be
I climb mountains swim cross the seas
But the most frightening thing is you and me
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?"
I saved that message.
Meech and her date walked over.
"Hey girl, where's Clint?" she asked out of breath from dancing.
"He went to get a drink."
"Come with me to the bathroom."
"So what do you think about Clint?" she asked when we we're in the restroom.
"He's okay I just don't like the way he looks at me.
"Girl stop it," she said then looked at me with a devilish look in her eyes.
"What?"
"I invited Jay over."
"No Meech, this guy is already looking at me like I'm naked I do not want him to know where I live."
"Come on, he's not like that."
"You don't even know them."
"Please Ang for me," she said giving pouty lips.
"You better be glad I love you and he better not try anything."
I sat on my bed looking in the closet wondering what I was going to wear. I don't know why I always let Meech talk me into things. She met these guys from UCLA and told them we'd meet them at the club tonight. I was kind of tired of having my pity party so I told her I'd go out with her.
"He better be worth all this," I joked.
The guy I was meeting was Clint. What kind of name was Clint I thought. He was okay looking had a nice body from what I could see through his shirt but I was turned off when he smiled showing a gap between his teeth. I'm not superficial or anything but I like what I like and I dislike what I dislike and I definitely wasn't feeling his teeth. We danced to a few songs and I was getting tired. I was about to tell him I wanted to sit down but Sean Paul and Estelle's Come Over came on. I began to whine up dey boy.
"Ooh yeah," he said trying to follow my movement.
I could tell this dance was exciting him by the look in his eyes. He must've thought this was an invitation for sex.
He tried to put his hand on my butt.
Slow down perv this is only a dance.
"I don't know you like that," I said.
"Sorry I just got caught up in the moment."
After the dance we found a place to sit.
He told me about school and his job. I tried to act interested but I kept zoning in and out while he talked not that he wasn't interesting he just wasn't who I wanted to be here with.
"Did you hear me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry what did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted a drink."
"No thank you, I'm fine."
"That you are," he said showing his gap.
Ugh, I felt sick.
While he was getting his drink I looked on the dance floor and Meech was having a ball. I wished I could be more like her. When a guy treats her like shxt she just moves on to the next one but me I have to fall all in love and end up hurt.
Just then my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen. I wanted so much to answer it but I didn't. He's called non stop the past few weeks letting me know how sorry he is and what can he do to make things right between us again. It made me feel good to know he was thinking about me. I smiled when I thought about the message he left last week.
"Ang I know you hate me and I know I put you through a lot but I want to sing this song for you. This is how I feel about us.
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?
Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love you and you love me
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be
I climb mountains swim cross the seas
But the most frightening thing is you and me
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?"
I saved that message.
Meech and her date walked over.
"Hey girl, where's Clint?" she asked out of breath from dancing.
"He went to get a drink."
"Come with me to the bathroom."
"So what do you think about Clint?" she asked when we we're in the restroom.
"He's okay I just don't like the way he looks at me.
"Girl stop it," she said then looked at me with a devilish look in her eyes.
"What?"
"I invited Jay over."
"No Meech, this guy is already looking at me like I'm naked I do not want him to know where I live."
"Come on, he's not like that."
"You don't even know them."
"Please Ang for me," she said giving pouty lips.
"You better be glad I love you and he better not try anything."
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Chapter Ten
Anthony
Our schedule was crazy. After Detroit we had a show in Maryland, then we had to make an appearance in Philadelphia and now New York to do some radio interviews. Before I knew it six weeks had passed and I hadn't talked to Ang. I sat back on the hotel bed wondering what I'd say to her. I knew she was probably pissed at the way I left.
"Hello."
She sounded like she was sleep.
"Hey it's Anthony."
"I know."
"How are you?"
"Fine, just a little tired.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to call you back but we've been busy."
"I figured that."
"We're going to be back in LA next weekend to sing for Stevie Wonder and I would like you to be my date."
She was quiet for a long time.
"Are you there?"
"Yeah I'm here."
"Well will you be my date?"
"I don't know Anthony I really don't feel up to it."
"I know the way I left was wrong and I apologize but I still want to be with you."
She was quiet again then after a few moments she agreed to go.
I really want to make this work. I didn't want to make the same mistakes I did in the past. I could really see this woman being the future Mrs. Anthony Harrell.
Angela
The call from Anthony really tore me up. I felt so full of guilt about what I did I couldn't even talk to him without crying. Him telling me he still wanted to be with me made me feel even lower. It had been four weeks since the abortion.
"Why did he wait so long to call? If he would've called sooner I would've known he still wanted to be with me and I would've...."
"Killed his baby?"
"Don't say it like that Meech."
"How else do you want me to say it?" she asked sarcastically.
"Are you going to let me wear the dress or not?"
Sometimes Meech's honesty really pissed me off.
"So you're just going to go out with him like nothing happened."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine."
She threw the dress on the bed and walked out.
While I was putting on my eyeliner the doorbell rang.
"Angie!" Meech called.
I walked out to the most handsome man I'd ever seen.
He was wearing a black three-piece suit. I ran my hand across my stomach.
What have you done girl? I asked myself as he stood there smiling.
"You look beautiful," he said.
"Thank you. You look nice too. See you later," I said to Meech.
She just waved I knew she was still upset with me.
It was a formal dinner. Everyone looked so elegant in his or her attire. There were different artists giving tribute to Mr. Wonder. Then it was time for Brutha to hit the stage. They sang Ribbon in the Sky and boy did they sang. Anthony made me blush when he sang to me. I wasn't use to this type of attention. He made me feel really special.
"I don't want to take you home yet. Why don't you come by the house?" he asked me as we walked to the car.
The look in his eyes told me what he really wanted.
"I think I need to go home."
I had two more weeks to go before I could have sex again and the way he looks tonight I know I wouldn't be able to resist him.
"Please. I told you I was sorry."
He held me from behind and kissed my neck.
"It's not that," I smiled enjoying his caresses.
"OH!"
He thought it was my time of the month. I should've just told him the truth but the night was so perfect I didn't want to ruin it.
"Well just come by an keep me company."
We made it to his car. He kissed me again this time with much passion.
"I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
"I missed you."
"Me too."
"I love you."
"Me too."
Our schedule was crazy. After Detroit we had a show in Maryland, then we had to make an appearance in Philadelphia and now New York to do some radio interviews. Before I knew it six weeks had passed and I hadn't talked to Ang. I sat back on the hotel bed wondering what I'd say to her. I knew she was probably pissed at the way I left.
"Hello."
She sounded like she was sleep.
"Hey it's Anthony."
"I know."
"How are you?"
"Fine, just a little tired.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to call you back but we've been busy."
"I figured that."
"We're going to be back in LA next weekend to sing for Stevie Wonder and I would like you to be my date."
She was quiet for a long time.
"Are you there?"
"Yeah I'm here."
"Well will you be my date?"
"I don't know Anthony I really don't feel up to it."
"I know the way I left was wrong and I apologize but I still want to be with you."
She was quiet again then after a few moments she agreed to go.
I really want to make this work. I didn't want to make the same mistakes I did in the past. I could really see this woman being the future Mrs. Anthony Harrell.
Angela
The call from Anthony really tore me up. I felt so full of guilt about what I did I couldn't even talk to him without crying. Him telling me he still wanted to be with me made me feel even lower. It had been four weeks since the abortion.
"Why did he wait so long to call? If he would've called sooner I would've known he still wanted to be with me and I would've...."
"Killed his baby?"
"Don't say it like that Meech."
"How else do you want me to say it?" she asked sarcastically.
"Are you going to let me wear the dress or not?"
Sometimes Meech's honesty really pissed me off.
"So you're just going to go out with him like nothing happened."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine."
She threw the dress on the bed and walked out.
While I was putting on my eyeliner the doorbell rang.
"Angie!" Meech called.
I walked out to the most handsome man I'd ever seen.
He was wearing a black three-piece suit. I ran my hand across my stomach.
What have you done girl? I asked myself as he stood there smiling.
"You look beautiful," he said.
"Thank you. You look nice too. See you later," I said to Meech.
She just waved I knew she was still upset with me.
It was a formal dinner. Everyone looked so elegant in his or her attire. There were different artists giving tribute to Mr. Wonder. Then it was time for Brutha to hit the stage. They sang Ribbon in the Sky and boy did they sang. Anthony made me blush when he sang to me. I wasn't use to this type of attention. He made me feel really special.
"I don't want to take you home yet. Why don't you come by the house?" he asked me as we walked to the car.
The look in his eyes told me what he really wanted.
"I think I need to go home."
I had two more weeks to go before I could have sex again and the way he looks tonight I know I wouldn't be able to resist him.
"Please. I told you I was sorry."
He held me from behind and kissed my neck.
"It's not that," I smiled enjoying his caresses.
"OH!"
He thought it was my time of the month. I should've just told him the truth but the night was so perfect I didn't want to ruin it.
"Well just come by an keep me company."
We made it to his car. He kissed me again this time with much passion.
"I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
"I missed you."
"Me too."
"I love you."
"Me too."
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