Chapter Nine

Angela
We sat food untouched in silence.
"Wow," he finally said.
"I need you to know that's not who I am. I made a mistake. I thought that was my only way out."
"Wow," he said again.
"Can you please say something besides 'wow'."
"I really don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting to hear this."
He pushed his chair back from the table. I knew what was coming next.
"Look Ang, I have a lot to think about right now I'll call you later."
I walked him to the door. He hesitated then kissed me on my cheek.
My feelings were hurt.
I texted Meech.
Where u @
mikes wassup
I told him
And?
I guess it wasn't real he left...


Anthony
I couldn't concentrate worth shxt at rehearsal thinking about what Angie told me.
"Come on Ant man, we've did these steps a million times what's wrong with you?" Grady fussed.
"I just got a lot on my mind."
"Well we got to be ready for Detroit."
"I know."
I tried to put it out of my mind like it didn't happen but I couldn't and it was showing in my performance. I was forgetting steps, going in the wrong direction, forgetting the words to the songs.
"Hold up," JR finally said. "Ant man what's up? Your mind is obviously somewhere else."
I didn't know if I should tell my brothers but I had to tell somebody. I picked up my water bottle and took a swig.
"Angie was in prison."
"What!" Jake and Papa said in unison.
"What the fuk!" JR said.
"Angie? Little petite Angie? Your girl Angie?" Grady asked.
I shook my head yes.
"You want to know what for?" I asked trying to sound like it didn't bother the shxt out of me.
"What?" they asked.
"Attempted murder."
I took another drink of water trying to wash those words from my mouth.
I told them the story of what she'd told me.
"So what are you going to do? Are you going to stay with her?" Papa asked.
"I don't know what to do."
"If he cherish his life he better stay with her," Grady joked.
I wasn't in the mood for jokes. I seriously needed to know what I should do.
"Come on man this is serious."
"I'm sorry," he said.
"How do you feel about her? I mean do you care about her enough to look past this?" Jake asked.
"I care about her a lot but damn attempted murder that's hard to swallow."
"Look we leave tomorrow, we'll be gone a few weeks, just call her when we get back, that way you have more time to think about it," Grady told me.
Yeah I just need time to think things through.
"Thanks guys I feel a whole lot better that's off my chest but let's keep this between us alright."
They agreed and we got back to rehearsing.


Angela
I was sick to my stomach. I'd been hugging the toilet all morning.
"Are you going to work?" Meech asked.
"I don't think I can."
"Have you told him?"
I felt nauseous again. I ran back to the bathroom.
After I wash my face and brush my teeth I answered her question.
"I called his mom and she said they were in Detroit and didn't know when they'd be back."
"You called his mom? Why didn't you call him?"
"I did. Twice. He didn't answer."
She had an apologetic look on her face.
"Don't look at me like that. I just know what I got to do."
"No Angie."
"Look he doesn't want to be with me so I'm not having his baby."

Chapter Eight

Angela
So we were exclusive.
"I think I should tell Anthony about my past."
Meech was quiet.
"Did you hear me?"
"Do you really think he's ready for that?"
"I don't know but I'm starting to really like him and I think he should know.
"Well you guys have been together damn near a year."
"Technically four months."
"Whatever. I guess if he's really into you then it shouldn't matter."
Meech was right. If this is real nothing I could tell him would hurt our relationship.
I made my famous chicken alfredo and invited him over.
"What's the occasion?"
I sat his plate in front of him and sat down with mine.
"I just want to talk to you."
"About what?" he asked looking suspicious.
"Me. I think it's time I tell you about my past."
"Okay," he said taking a fork full of noodles.
I took a deep breath before I began.
"The night we met at the club I had just gotten off parole."
He dropped the fork back onto his plate.
"Parole?" For what?"
"Attempted murder," I said with my head down.
I didn't have to look at him to know he was bothered by my confession. I continued through the uneasiness.
"My ex physically abused me then one day I lost it."

PAST
"Have you decided on a college yet?"
I knew Reggie wasn't asking out of concern. He could care less if I went to college but I cared I wanted to get out of this situation so bad and college was my escape. The further the better.
"No, not yet."
I jumped when he stroked my hair.
"I'm sorry babe, I'm really trying to work on my temper."
"I know," I said wishing he'd get his hands off me.
My hand shook as I put on my lipstick trying to cover the cut on my lip.
This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my graduation.
I sat in his truck trying to make myself happy. I thought about my parents and how proud they are of me. I held on to the smile on my mother's face when she woke me up this morning. I didn't even know what Reggie talked about as we walked to the football field. I just stayed focused on that happy moment.
"I'll see you later baby," he said and walked toward the bleachers.
"ANNGGGIIIIEEEEE!!!!" I heard Meech call me like Celie did to Nettie in The Color Purple.
"MEECHHIIEE!!" I replied and we ran to each other in slow motion.
We stopped in the middle of the field and did the patty cake song they did.
"Me and you mus neva part..."
Meech was more than my friend she was my sister. She's been there for everything good and bad. I cried as we hugged.
"Mom and Dad here?"
"Not yet."
"So how did you get here?"
I gave her a look.
"Oh."
We found our place in line.
"So is the warden going to let you go to the graduation party?"
"No."
That's what we argued about earlier.
"You need to get out of this relationship. He's not going to change Ang. It's only going to get worse."
My eyes watered because I knew she was right.
After pictures, gifts and goodbyes all I wanted to do was go home and sleep but my parents took me and Meech out for a graduation dinner. Reggie wasn't invited. Every since my mom noticed bruises on my arms my dad hasn't wanted him around. Even though he told them we were just playing my dad didn't buy it.
"Have fun at the party," I told Meech when we dropped her off.
I was out when my head hit the pillow. I didn't even hear my phone when it rang.
Meech came by the next morning to give me the gossip on the party. She was supposed to be going to the store for her mom but she gets easily side tracked.
"Come to the store with me, I got a lot to tell you."
"Dad I'm going with Meech, I'll be back."
She talked nonstop while loading the basket with the items from the list her mom gave her.
"Girl and then she told him she was pregnant and it wasn't his."

Meanwhile...
Reggie waited as he saw Angela's dad leave then he went to the door.
"Hi Mrs. Randolph I know your husband doesn't want me here but I have to talk to Angie she's not answering her phone and I'm worried.
"Hold on."
She goes to Angela's room and finds it empty.
"I'm sorry Reggie but she's not here."
"Do you know where she is?"
"No I don't."
"Thank you."
Reggie leaves angry.

"Are you almost done?" I ask Meech realizing I left my phone at home.
"Yeah why?"
"I left my phone."
Meech looked disgusted.
"What kind of hold does the nicca have on you."
"Meech just hurry up."
When she dropped me off I raced upstairs looked under my pillow and there was my phone with "10 missed calls" all from Reggie. I called him right away.
"Where you at?"
"Home."
"Don't lie to me I was just there."
"Oh I went to the store with Meech."
"Come outside I'm on my way."
He was quiet the whole drive to his place. I could tell his little brain was working overtime.
When we got inside I sat on the couch and he sat in the chair.
"Where's your mom?"
"Out of town. So where were you last night?"
"At home."
"Then why didn't you answer your phone."
"I was sleep."
"Don't fukin lie to me!" He stood up "You went to that party didn't you?"
He walked toward me. I scooted back.
"No."
"Stop lyin to me. I hate being lied to."
SMACK, right across the face. Then he balled up his fists I tried to get up and run but he caught me and pulled me back down hitting me so hard it took my breath. I lay balled up like a baby crying wishing he would just stop. God must've heard me because soon after that he did.
"Now get up and fix me something to eat."
I limped to the kitchen. I heard Meech's voice over and over, "It's only going to get worse."
"Hurry up!" he walked into the kitchen.
"What do you want?"
"Surprise me."
There was a pot on the stove not thinking I grabbed it and hit him in the head. He went down but he didn't stay down.
"You bxtch."
He regained his balance and clocked me in my eye I was blinded for a moment but the pot was still in my hand. The little voice in my head said hit him again. I tried but he caught my hand and punched me in the stomach. I went down.
"You can't hang with me, you weak," he said.
My body was hurt and I could only see out of one eye but I was going to get rid of him no matter what it took. Somehow I got back on my feet and I was leaning over the sink where I saw the butcher knife.
"Did I say you could get up?" was the last words he said to me.
At the end of it all he suffered for ten stab wounds to the left torso and thigh resulting in him having a colostomy bag from the damage to his intestines and walk with a cane for the damage to his thigh muscle. While I had a fractured cheekbone, three broken ribs and multiple abrasions and contusions on various parts of my body as well as a five year prison sentence at the age of 18.

Chapter Seven

Angela
The boys had a surprise party for Nancy's birthday. Anthony invited me to come so I could meet his family. Everyone was nice to me except for Rissy. She gave me and up and down look and a fake hello. It didn't faze me though. I'd met many Rissy's in my lifetime. As with any party the drinks were flowing and everybody was having a good time. Some one called Anthony away so I was leaning on the wall watching Jake and Grady battle. Then JR walks over to me.
"Where's Ant?"
"He's talking to somebody."
"You want to dance?"
"Sure."
It was an innocent dance but I guess Anthony saw more into it. He pulled me from JR and pushed him into the wall. Everyone rushed them trying to pull them apart. The force of him pulling me from JR caused me to lose my balance and I fell on my butt. So much anger was in his eyes. I'd seen that look too many times.

High School, the junior dance. Me and Meech were the life of the party as usual. While dancing a guy came up and started dancing on me from behind, no big deal so I thought.
"Angie!" his voice deep and strong.
"Reggie, I didn't think you were coming."
He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the gynmasium.
"Who's that nicca all on your ass like that?"
"I don't know. We just dancing. Why you trippin?" I said pulling my arm from his grip.
"I don't appreciate my girl acting like a slut."
SLAP!
He slapped me across my face so hard I felt my brain shake.
I don't know where Meech came from but she rushed him from the back. He jerked forward from her push but when she tried to swing on him he pushed her down. I heard the thud as her head hit the ground and she was out.
"Come on," he pulled me away before people saw what was going on.
"I have to see about Meech."
"She okay."
I looked back and she was dazed but getting up.

My eyes adjusted and I was back at the party. I had to get of here. As I got up Grady came over to help me.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I said.
But I was far from okay. I was shaking. I couldn't go through this again.
JR was still trying to figure out why Anthony attacked him like that.
"I think I better go." I told Grady.
Rissy gave me an evil look as I walked by.


Anthony
"Will you fukin drive!"
HONK! HONK!
"Turn already shxt!"
I was almost to her apartment buildings.
I saw her car. I parked in the stall next to hers not caring who it belonged too. I'd pay the fukin tow I just had to talk to her.
I gave three taps on the door trying not to wake up her roommate.
She opened the door.
"Can we talk?"
She opened the door wider and let me in. I could tell by the look on her face I was going to have to make this good.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, I don't know why I got so angry when I saw you dancing with JR."
"I don't know either."
Just tell the truth man, you really like this girl and you don't want to be hurt anymore.
"Look," I started, "let me just be honest. I'm not really good in relationships, either I hurt the other person or the other person hurts me. A few years back after I broke up with Anaya's mom I met this girl. I thought she was special. We dated close to a year. Everybody told me to be careful but I didn't listen because she was everything I was looking for. When JR got out of jail and needed a place to stay I let him come and stay with us. When I came home one night I saw her coming out of his room. I confronted them."
"And?"
"And long story short JR said she tried to get at him but nothing happened."
"And you believed him?"
"Yeah I believed him he's my brother, but seeing him dancing with you tonight just made me angry. I really like you Angie and I want to be with you but I don't want to be hurt anymore so before this relationship goes any further I have to know that you want to be with me and only me."

Chapter Six

Angela
"Are you going to call or what?"
I held the number in one hand and my cell phone in the other. A week had past and I still hadn't called him.
"I don't know. What if it's the wrong number?"
"You won't know unless you call."
She grabbed the number and my phone.
"No Meech. Don't. I'm serious.
I ran after her.
"I'm serious too. He wouldn't have given it to you if he didn't want you to call."
I did want to know if it was the right number so I stood over her as she dialed.
"It's ringing, she said. "May I speak to Anthony? This is Angela."
She hands me the phone but I'm so nervous I drop it.
"Hello," I said.
"What was that?"
"I dropped my phone. Are you busy?"
"No I was actually in bed. We had a long day."
I glanced at the clock. It was after eleven.
"I didn't mean to call you so late."
"No, I'm glad you did. I want to see you again maybe take you out to dinner or something. If that's alright?"
"Sure I don't mind."
"Is this your number?"
"Yes."
"Okay I'll call you."
"Okay."
"So what happened?" Meech asked when I hung up.
I told her what he said. She looked like she was having spasms the way she was jumping around.
"My girl got a date with a celebrity."
"Don't get all excited it's just a date. I may not even like him."

I was on my lunch break at the Cheesecake Factory when Anthony called. He wanted to know if I could go out tomorrow for dinner. After I accepted and gave him my address I called Meech.
"Meech he wants to go out tomorrow. What am I going to do? I don't have anything to wear and my hair, what am I going to do with my hair?"
I was a jean and t-shirt kind of girl who wore her hair in a ponytail all the time.
If I was feeling good I'd pull out some bangs or throw some curls in my ponytail but that was rare. I didn't even own a dress. Whenever we'd go out I'd wear Meech's clothes.
"Just calm down. I got you. I'll put something together for you and I'll fix your hair. Don't worry."

Dinner started off slow. Neither of us had much to say. But when the champagne came so did the conversation. I told him about growing up in Frisco and he told me about his life growing up. I was dying with laughter as he told me about the things he'd to to his brothers when they were younger.
"I had a good time maybe next time we can go dancing," he told me.
NEXT TIME? He wanted another date? I couldn't believe it.
When I got home Meech was up waiting on the 411 and I was ready to give it.
"Girl he was such a gentleman."
"Did you get a kiss?"
"A peck."
"No tongue?"
"I'm not you."
"Well he better be glad for that."
"You such a ho."
"Well I try."
We both laugh.

We had been talking for about four months. I really didn't think of us as boyfriend/girlfriend but he calls me whenever he can and when he's home he makes sure he visits. Everything was good until I saw a side of him that terrified me.

Chapter Five

Lets start at the beginning.......

Angela
I had just moved to LA from San Francisco. Starting a new life so to speak. My girl Lemetrius AKA Meechie had come out a few months earlier to find us an apartment. It was hard leaving my parents but I was glad to get out, too many bad memories haunting me in Frisco.
I hadn't even had time to unpack when Meech told me we were going out to celebrate my freedom. We went to this popular club in Hollywood. I had a ball.
"I haven't danced like this in a long time," I told Meech.
Dance was my first love. I love all kinds of dance and I was good at it too. I could just look at a routine and learn it. I danced nonstop since we got here so I was taking a break.
"Do you want a drink?" Meech asked me.
"No but I'll go with you to get yours."
While we were at the bar the DJ put on "I can't hear the music" by Brutha. We looked at each other. This was our shxt.
"Girl I gotta do it," I told her.
She made everybody make room for me. I had learned the whole routine by watching their videio and other taped performances.
I heard people asking, "Was she in the video."
"Naw she just got skills," Meech told them.
I was in the zone, lip syncing and moving like I was on stage.

Anthony
Me and my brothers were chillin in VIP when I heard the DJ play our single. We went crazy. I couldn't believe this was finally happening for us. I rapped along with Fabulous and sipped my drink. Then I noticed a crowd forming on the dance floor. I stood on the chair to get a better look at what was going on.
"You gotta be shxttin me."
I saw a girl doing our moves and she was good. I told Grady to come with me so I could get a closer look.

Angela
The crowd began to scream and I continued to move. I raised my arm and put my hand over my chest and did the heartbeat move. I had no idea Anthony and Grady had walked up until I heard a girl scream, "I love you Anthony!"
I looked back.
"Keep going," he said then joined me.
We danced together for the rest of the song.
"You're good," he told me after the dance.
"Thanks," I said blushing.
"I can't believe you learned the whole routine."
"It was a good routine."
"Oh my gosh Anthony I just love you. I'm your biggest fan. Can I have your autograph," a girl asked.
"So what's your name," he asked me after he gave her the autograph.
"You can just call my Miss A," I said showing him the gold A chain my parents got me on my 16th birthday.
Meech bumped me.
"Her name is Angela."
"Angela," he repeated, "that's pretty."
"Thank you."
I noticed the crowd of girls lining up behind them trying to get their attention.
"Ant we better get back," Grady said.
"Do you think I could get your number and call you some time?"
"I don't think so. How about you give me yours."
The crowd started to demand their attention. Grady had to pull Anthony away before they got swarmed by their fans.
"Why were you so mean to him," Meech asked me.
"Girl please I am not trying it be nobody's groupie. He is cute but Papa's my baby."
"Okayyy," Meech agreed as we slapped hands and laughed.
"You were so good out there girl. I don't know why you stopped dancing. You would've been big now Ang."
"Reggie."
"Huh?"
"Reggie is why I stopped dancing."
"Oh yeah."
She put her arm around me.
"I'm glad you're out here.
"Me too."
We danced some more then a guy came up to me.
"Is your name Angela?"
"Yes."
"Anthony told me to give this to you."
I looked down at the piece of paper. It was his phone number.

Chapter Four

Angela
I ignored the call when I saw it was from Rissy. I knew she'd take it personal when she found out.
"Meech I know you have to go home but can you please stay one more night and watch the kids while I go talk to the attorney?"
My phone buzzed again. This time it was Anthony.
"I don't know."
She was reluctant.
"Please Meech you can go shopping in my closet and take whatever you want."
"Okay but you talk to Eric when he calls.
"I will. Thanks so much," I said hugging my friend.
"Are you really sure about this Ang. I mean he did say he didn't have sex with any of them."
"Not yet and besides he's cheated before."
"Before you were married."
"I just can't keep being stupid for guys."
"I know me and Anthony haven't always got along but divorce is so final."
"Well I made up my mind."
I went to take my shower.
Before I went to bed I checked my messages:
"What the fuk is wrong with you? My brother is over here crying his eyes out over you. I knew you was a triflin ho. Don't think you gon get any of his money either I will kill a bxtch over my brothers."
The message from Anthony's number was a hang up.

Rissy's words echoed in my head as I drove to the attorney's office. I understood her anger but what she said was far from true. I didn't want Anthony's money. I really and truly love him.
"I'll let Mrs Wade know you're here," her secretary said.
I was so nervous when I walked into her office.
"So tell me why you're here?" she asked me.
The words played in my head but I couldn't say them.
"Well what did he do to make you choose divorce?"
I broke down.
She handed me a tissue.
"I know it's hard especially when you still love him. I'll give you a minute."
After I pulled myself together I was ready to begin.
"What does he do for a living?"
"He's in a singing group with his brothers."
"An entertainer? So he makes pretty good money," she said writing notes on her pad.
"Yes but I just want child support for the kids and the keep the house."
"How many children," she asked still writing.
"Two boys and one on the way."
She looked up at me with compassion in her eyes.
"How many months are you?"
"Almost five."
Mrs Wade thought before she began to speak again.
"I will need to know all about this relationship because divorce is a big step and if there are ways around it I like to use them. So Mrs. Harrell, how did you meet your husband?"

Chapter Three

Anthony
I paced back and forth my mother's living room.
"She's not answering my calls. I messed up and we're leaving in two days."
"Just try to call her again," my mom said.
"She wont take my calls!"
"I'm just trying to help you out don't yell at me!"
"Sorry. I just need to talk to her before I leave."
"Then go home, son."


Angela
I slept better last night and I didn't wake up crying. I even felt strong enough to get out of bed. I walk toward the kitchen hoping Meech cooked again this morning because I was hungry. I stopped midway to the kitchen. Ant Jr. and Lil Papa were playing Lego's with their dad.
"Look what I made Daddy."
"That's cool, man."
Ant Jr. was showing him what he made while Lil Papa mimicked his brother.
Seeing them playing together made me smile but it was a little too late.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see my sons before I leave and talk to you."
I walk into the kitchen.
He follows me.
"Look, I know what I said hurt you but I was just mad that my brothers been talking to you behind my back like I'm some child. I don't want to lose you."
"It's too late. I talk to an attorney tomorrow."
Meech had a coworker whose mother is a divorce lawyer so she got me a quick appointment.
"What?!?"
"I'm sorry Anthony."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"You should've thought about that when you were entertaining your fans."
"I didn't have sex with any of them."
"Why not?" What stopped you? Surely not me."
"I love you Ang and I don't want a divorce."
"It's too late."
"Alright, I see."
He kissed and hugged his sons and left.
Meech heard the whole conversation. She walked out after he left. I cried in my friend's arms.


Anthony
When I made it back to my mother's house I sat on the couch put my hat over my face and cried.
"Something's wrong with Uncle Ant," Acacia announced to the other's in the kitchen.
"What happened baby?" my mother's voice dripped with concern.
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't speak at first.
She sat next to me.
"She wants a divorce," I finally said still hid by my hat.
My mom hugged me and cried with me.
"Let me call you back," I heard Rissy walk through the door.
"What's going on Mom?"
"Angie wants a divorce."
"What?!"
I could tell in Rissy voice she wanted to go off. I knew how she felt about Ang and she bit her tongue a lot because of me but I told her this was my problem and I'd deal with it. But knowing Rissy I knew she wouldn't let this go.