I know it's been a minute.......

Unfortunately I have bad news.....this story was written by me on a different site but sadly the site is no longer so I lost the story. :-( It was a few chapters from being done and I was starting a spin off story as well.

So I am putting this story on hiatus for now until I figure what I'm going to do. I may bring it back to life just don't know yet because I'm still hurt about the loss.
:-(

Chapter Fifteen

Anthony
"Why didn't you tell me you were supposed to see your daughter last night? Do you know how bad I felt Rissy already doesn't like me and now she thinks I kept you from your daughter!"
I couldn't believe she was coming at me like this.
"Whoa Whoa why is everybody making such a big deal about this. I talked to Anaya and told her I'd see her tonight she's okay so why does everybody else have problem with it."
"Because Anthony you can't tell a child something and don't do it they remember those things."
I still didn't understand what the big deal was and I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore.
"I'm sorry okay I didn't mean to make you feel bad I know you wouldn't keep me from my daughter I just wanted to make sure things were good between us and about Rissy it's not that she doesn't like you she just wants me to get back with Maya and that's not gonna happen."
Her face was still frowned up. I ran my hand down her face to make her smile. It worked.
"Is Meech going to be home tonight?" I asked walking her to the door.
"No she's working graveyard again."
"Good I may stop back by."
"No you go spend time with your daughter I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said pushing me away.
"Just for a little while."
"No." she said unlocking the door.
"Come on it'll only take two minutes."
"If that's how long it's going to take you definitely not coming in."
She made me laugh.
"You too much you know that."
"But that's why you love me," she kissed me and we said our good nights.

I headed to Maya's thinking how happy I was Ang is back in my life.
Maya's hair fell down around her face as she opened the door. That uncombed look use to turn me on at one time but that memory faded real quick.
"Anaya your dad is here!" she rolled her eyes as she let me in.
"Hi Daddy."
I picked her up and kissed her.
"Dang girl you almost tall as me, what you been eating?"
"Come, let me show you what I got."
I missed her birthday but I made sure I sent her gift. I followed as she pulled me to her bedroom. She showed me the many outfits she'd gotten and other girly stuff that I knew nothing about.
"Where's my gift?"
She pulled out the necklace from under her shirt and pulled up her sleeve to show me the matching bracelet.
"You make sure you keep them in mommy's jewelry box so you don't lose them."
"I don't have to I have my own now. Mommy's friend Daniel bought me one."
I know she didn't just say what I thought she said.
"Mommy's friend Danielle."
"No Daniel, he's a guy," she laughed but I didn't.
She showed me a few more things but my curiosity was bubbling.
"I'll be right back sweetie."
I pulled her bedroom door ajar so she didn't her the conversation I was about to have with her mother.

I sat on the arm of the sofa trying not to make it too obvious I was upset about the information I just heard. I spoke slow.
"So uh who's Daniel?"
"A friend," she said never taking her eyes off the television.
"Why is this friend buying gifts for my daughter," I said still trying to remain calm.
"Why are you out here questioning me about something that's none of your business."
I snapped.
"Who the fuk is this dude you got around my daughter!"
"Don't cuss at me and lower your voice!" she said now facing me.
"So you dating this dude."
"Maybe."
"I don't want him around my daughter."
"Well if he's with me he's going to be around my daughter!"
"Oh so it's like that. What you all in love now and shxt too?"
"You could say that, he makes me happy and I haven't been happy in a long time."
"Oh is that right so I didn't make you happy."
"Why are you in here when you're supposed to be visiting Anaya."
"Answer the question did I make you happy Maya!"
"NO! you didn't."
"You mean to tell me all the years we spent together you weren't happy?"
She looked back at the television and ignored me, pissed me off, my whole night was ruined I had to leave before I did or said something I'd regret. I kissed Anaya and told her I'd pick her up tomorrow and take her to see her Grandma.

Maya's words fuked me up how could she say I never made her happy. Now she seeing some punk ass nicca, fuk him, fuk them, I only cared about my daughter anyway.
"Anthony what's wrong?" my mom asked as I stormed past her and headed to the kitchen to pour me a drink.
"Hey what's up talk to me," she said.
"Can you believe Maya said I never made her happy?" I downed the glass of Henessey and poured me another, "does she know how much I loved her and now she got some clown around my daughter buying her gifts and shxt."
"Come sit down," my mom said softly.
I sat at the kitchen table while my mother proceeded to talk to me.
"I don't think she meant you never made her happy but at one point in your relationship something changed."
"Yeah she changed, that's why we argue so damn much."
"Anthony what I'm going to tell you I'm telling you out of love not to make you angry or take sides."
She paused then started again.
"You are so much like you dad, you're charming you're loving but baby sometimes you can be selfish.
I didn't want to hear this.
"You want what you want when you want it and how you want it and if it doesn't go your way you lash out and you lash out hard and you get very mean. I can't tell you how many times Maya called me crying about you. She loved you so much she didn't want to leave but it was making her sick to stay."
"She knew I wanted to do music and she said she was okay with it."
"She was okay with it Anthony and she supported you totally but somewhere down the line baby you forgot about her and your daughter."
"I was there for them what are you talking about."
"She was raising Anaya basically by herself while trying to take care of a household and you she got burned out Anthony she gave and gave and gave and didn't get anything in return."
"So now you saying I wasn't good to her."
"I'm sure you did the best you could baby but when she needed you you weren't there for her like she was for you."
"But how is she gon have some other dude all around my daughter."
"Daniel is really nice and he loves Maya and Anaya."
"You knew and you didn't tell me."
"I told Maya it was her place to tell you."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"What did you expect her to do Anthony stay single the rest of her life?"
"Yeah and raise our daughter."
"I'm a say this and then I'm going to bed Maya is a beautiful woman I wished things would've worked out with you two but it didn't you moved on Anthony so let her."
I drank the last of my drink I had a lot to sleep on.

Chapter Fourteen

Angela
Waking up next to him felt good and the early morning sex wasn't bad either. He lay next to me with his head on his hand and a question on his face.
"What?"
"I still can't believe you were in prison."
"That was the longest three years of my life but it's an experience I'll never forget."
Lynn, my cellmate she was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. Rumor was she murdered her husband while he was sleep. He too was an abuser but since she never told anyone filed a police report or had any hospital records the jury didn't believe it was self defense. She took me under her wing. No homo thing she just had a daughter my age and she looked out for me. Nobody messed with Lynn and since I was her cellmate nobody messed with me. I seen her beat a female unconscious there was blood everywhere I thought for sure she was dead. She schooled me on a lot of things and she made sure I was treated right. At a glance she looked like any other inmate with all the cuts and bruises on her face but when you really look at her you could tell she was very attractive in her younger days. She didn't have visits she rarely got mail but when she did she read the name of the sender then rip it up. This went on for a long time until one day I finally decided to ask.
"Why do you do that?"
"It's from my daughter."
"Don't you want to read it?"
"I can't then I'd miss home too much and I can't think about a place I'd never be again."
"But what if it's something important."
"As long as I get a letter every once an a while from her I know she's alright."
"Do you mind if I read it."
She looked at me then threw the pieces on my bunk.
"If you can put it together help yourself," she said then walked out.

Hi Ma,
Just wanted to let you know Asia had her first birthday on Saturday. Grandma insisted on having a party for her. She is getting so big. Every body says how much she looks like you. I know you don't like to write but I just want you to know I love you and I'm doing fine. Maybe I could come and visit you some time so you can meet your granddaughter. I really miss you mom and I know what you did you did for me and I thank you. I'll send pics soon.

Kylie

"I know what you did you did for me? So that's why they didn't find any evidence of abuse on Lynn's body he didn't abuse her he abused her daughter." I said aloud.
"Is that what you think happened?"
She startled me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in here."
"So you think I killed that bastard for abusing my daughter?"
I sat not saying a word.
"I wanted to but baby he was already dead when I came home."
"Kylie?"
"My baby was only thirteen."
Before I could ask her why she took the rap for her daughter I already knew the answer. She's a mother and a mother is going to protect her child.
"She tried to tell me what he was doing to her but I was too busy to listen, with work and my own issues I was just too busy," her voice cracked as she bit her top lip trying not to cry.
"Did you know you have a granddaughter? Her name is Asia she turned a year on Saturday." She broke down.
That was the first and last time I saw her cry.
"Don't let this experience make you bitter you take it and learn from it. When you get out recognize the signs so you don't fall for the same type of nicca. You deserve better than the Reggie's of this world and don't let nobody tell you different. You take pride in who you are as a woman. You did what you did that's in the past now move on baby. Be that queen your mama raised."
Those were the last words she spoke to me and I'll never forget them. I asked her could I write her but of course she said no. I did give her my parents' address just in case she changed her mind but I never heard from her.
"You were lucky to have met her," Anthony told me.
"I know."
"Are you hungry," he asked trying to lighten the mood.
"A little," I said still tired from our extravaganza.
Anthony cooked while I showered. I heard my door open while I was brushing my teeth.
It was Meech all smiles.
"Why is Anthony in my kitchen half naked cooking," she whispered.
I smiled.
"You ho, but I have to say I taught you well."
We laughed.
"It's ready," he announced in the midst of our laughter.
"Oh good morning Meech, I didn't know you were here," he reached for his shirt on the floor. "It's enough if you want some too."
Me and Meech looked at each other and bust out laughing again.
"You guys are bad," he walked out smiling and shaking his head.
He made our plates and set the table.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat it's plenty," he asked Meech again as we walked to the kitchen.
"Naw you two love birds do your thing."

"My Mom is having a barbecue at the house and I want to you to come."
I wanted to go but I felt uncomfortable about what happened the last time I was there.
"I don't know."
"I promise I won't get into any fights."
We got there around three. Everyone was laughing talking loud and having a good time. I was introduced to new faces and recognized some familiar ones from before.
"You guys go make a plate the foods in the back." Nancy said giving her son the eye I assume for not coming home last night.
"Come on Nicca!!!" I heard someone yell from outside.
There was a domino game and a card game going on.
The food looked so good but I didn't really have an appetite after the breakfast Anthony cooked this morning so I just grabbed a burger. He was piling it on though. For a brother to be so skinny he sure can eat.
"That's all you gon eat?" one of his uncles asked me.
"Yeah."
"That's it baby you watch that lovely figure." he said giving me an up and down look.
"That's for me to do Unc," Ant said.
"I hear that," he said walking away with his tall can of beer in hand singing some song from the seventies.
The backyard was full so I had to sit on Anthony's lap while we ate. That potato salad on his plate was looking good so while he talked I snuck a fork full.
"I know you didn't just eat out of my plate. You better be glad I love you."
We shared a laugh.
"Anthony!"
I turned to see Rissy at the screen door.
"I need to holla at you for a minute," she came toward us.
"I'm eating Riss, what's up."
"Whats up is I need to talk to you."
"I'm here Riss, talk."
"I just got off the phone with Maya you know your daughter's mother and she told me your daughter my neice was looking for you to come see her last night."
I felt so bad I didn't know he was suppose to see his daughter last night. Me and Rissy already didn't quite hit if off for whatever reason so I knew she was going to blame me.
"I talked to my daughter your niece this morning and she's okay."
"I'm just saying you shouldn't let nobody come between you and your daughter," she put emphasis on the word nobody.
Wow I thought to myself so now I'm nobody.
"Ant Dog!!!"
"My nig!!!" Anthony screamed back when he saw the guy. Grady and Jared were right behind him.
Anthony stood up and gave him a quick embrace then introduced us.
"This is my girl Angela, Ang this is my boy Pete."
Pete didn't know how glad I was he came when he did. I don't think I could have taken Rissy any longer without saying anything. Oh but Ant was surely going to hear my mouth when he took me home.

Chapter Thirteen

Angela
"I'm going to get changed. If you want to watch TV the remote is on the table," I told Clint.
He smiled. I rolled my eyes and went to my room mad that Meech had left me alone with him. I put on some sweats and one of Anthony's t-shirts he left pulled my hair back in a ponytail and went to the kitchen.
"Are you thirsty?" I asked getting a bottled water from the refrigerator.
He took a double take when he saw me I knew this wasn't what he expected.
"Why don't you come over here and keep me company," he said.
Negro please! I thought.
"I'm actually going to get ready for bed. I had a long day."
"Can I join you?"
"No but if you're sleepy there's a blanket in the closet."
"So you gon do a brutha like that."
"Yep," I said and went to my room and locked the door.
After listening to the message I got from Anthony I turned off my light and went to sleep.


Anthony
I sang with all that was in me...."seems like the waters run dry and I don't know why...."
As the crowd sang along my heart was breaking. All I could think about was how bad I'd done Ang. She didn't deserve my bullshxt especially not after what she'd been through I had to show her I'm not that guy. I just got caught up.
This was our last show and then we'd be going home of course the after party was poppin girls wall-to-wall trying to get our attention. In the midst of all the chaos I pulled out my phone to call Ang. Of course she let it go to voicemail.
"Ang we'll be home tomorrow night I want to come see you and talk about everything. See you tomorrow. I love you."
After I hung up I called my daughter.
"It's late Anthony," Maya said.
"Just put my daughter on the phone."
She blew. I waited a few moments before I heard my daughter's angelic voice.
"Hello."
"Hey baby girl, you sleep?"
"No I was watching TV."
"Guess what?"
"What?"
"I'll be home tomorrow."
"Are you coming to see me?"
"Of course baby."
Jared was trying to get my attention.
"I'll call you tomorrow okay sweetheart."
"Ok daddy, I love you."
"I love you too baby."


Angela
I pulled up in the driveway of my apartment building and saw his black Charger parked in the space across from my apartment. I was tempted to drive away but he raised his head and our eyes were locked for a second. He looked tired like he'd been here a while. As I opened my car door he walked up.
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you."
I sat quietly fiddling with my keys. Not sure if I should invite him in or make him stand outside. I reached in the back seat and grabbed my gym bag.
"How long have you been waiting?"
"A couple hours."
I got out of the car and headed to my apartment. I threw my bag on the floor my keys on the counter and turned to face Anthony who was closing the door. I played this moment over and over in my head all day how I was going to act what I was going to say and what I wasn't going to do. I told myself I would not shed another tear over this man. I put on my poker face and sat on the bar stool at the counter. He was leaning against the wall by the front door.
"So what do you want to talk about?"
"Us."
"Us? Is there still an us?" I asked sarcastically.
He thought before he spoke.
"I messed up Ang I know that and it's tearing my up. I miss so much. Just give me a chance to make it up to you."
I looked away this was going to be harder than I thought. In my thoughts I couldn't see his eyes. He looked so damn sincere but how could I be standing here contemplating forgiving him. It wasn't supposed to go this way.
"Why should I do that why should I give you another chance?"
"Because I love you and it won't go away."
That did it I was gone. Before I knew it he grabbed my face and we were kissing.
"I'ma do right by you I promise," he said wiping my tears then kissed me again this time cupping my butt in his hands.
"I need to take a shower," I said in between kisses remembering I just left the gym.
"Come on."
He led me to the bathroom and started the shower.
He undressed me first then himself.
The water felt good running down my body but his hand's felt better. He rubbed and caressed my breasts then his hand slid down to my middle. I let out a soft moan as he played with me. I returned the favor and gave him a hand job.
We moved from the falling water and he leaned me over and entered me from behind.
"Dang baby you wet."
I smiled then said, "I missed you."
He stroked me slow as if trying to remember every part of me. Then he turned me toward him picked me up so my legs were on either side of him and slid inside of me. As he gave me his heat I moaned in satisfaction. I gripped his neck as he tried to keep his balance by holding the wall with one hand and me with the other. His thrusts became quicker and my moans louder. I was losing my breath no I was climaxing. He came shortly after.
"I love you," he said out of breath.
I caught my breath then said, "I love you too but if you ever cheat on me again I'm leaving for good."

Chapter Twelve

Angela
I sat on my bed looking in the closet wondering what I was going to wear. I don't know why I always let Meech talk me into things. She met these guys from UCLA and told them we'd meet them at the club tonight. I was kind of tired of having my pity party so I told her I'd go out with her.
"He better be worth all this," I joked.
The guy I was meeting was Clint. What kind of name was Clint I thought. He was okay looking had a nice body from what I could see through his shirt but I was turned off when he smiled showing a gap between his teeth. I'm not superficial or anything but I like what I like and I dislike what I dislike and I definitely wasn't feeling his teeth. We danced to a few songs and I was getting tired. I was about to tell him I wanted to sit down but Sean Paul and Estelle's Come Over came on. I began to whine up dey boy.
"Ooh yeah," he said trying to follow my movement.
I could tell this dance was exciting him by the look in his eyes. He must've thought this was an invitation for sex.
He tried to put his hand on my butt.
Slow down perv this is only a dance.
"I don't know you like that," I said.
"Sorry I just got caught up in the moment."
After the dance we found a place to sit.
He told me about school and his job. I tried to act interested but I kept zoning in and out while he talked not that he wasn't interesting he just wasn't who I wanted to be here with.
"Did you hear me?"
"Oh, I'm sorry what did you say?"
"I asked if you wanted a drink."
"No thank you, I'm fine."
"That you are," he said showing his gap.
Ugh, I felt sick.
While he was getting his drink I looked on the dance floor and Meech was having a ball. I wished I could be more like her. When a guy treats her like shxt she just moves on to the next one but me I have to fall all in love and end up hurt.
Just then my phone vibrated. I looked at the screen. I wanted so much to answer it but I didn't. He's called non stop the past few weeks letting me know how sorry he is and what can he do to make things right between us again. It made me feel good to know he was thinking about me. I smiled when I thought about the message he left last week.

"Ang I know you hate me and I know I put you through a lot but I want to sing this song for you. This is how I feel about us.
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?
Sorry if I sound so filled with gloom
You say you care and I know you do
But this is from my experience
And my conclusion only makes sense
Just cause I love you and you love me
It doesn't mean that we're meant to be
I climb mountains swim cross the seas
But the most frightening thing is you and me
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears
But I'm scared of
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair
But I'm scared of
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love, love
When love seems to hate us?"
I saved that message.


Meech and her date walked over.
"Hey girl, where's Clint?" she asked out of breath from dancing.
"He went to get a drink."
"Come with me to the bathroom."
"So what do you think about Clint?" she asked when we we're in the restroom.
"He's okay I just don't like the way he looks at me.
"Girl stop it," she said then looked at me with a devilish look in her eyes.
"What?"
"I invited Jay over."
"No Meech, this guy is already looking at me like I'm naked I do not want him to know where I live."
"Come on, he's not like that."
"You don't even know them."
"Please Ang for me," she said giving pouty lips.
"You better be glad I love you and he better not try anything."

Chapter Eleven

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Chapter Ten

Anthony
Our schedule was crazy. After Detroit we had a show in Maryland, then we had to make an appearance in Philadelphia and now New York to do some radio interviews. Before I knew it six weeks had passed and I hadn't talked to Ang. I sat back on the hotel bed wondering what I'd say to her. I knew she was probably pissed at the way I left.
"Hello."
She sounded like she was sleep.
"Hey it's Anthony."
"I know."
"How are you?"
"Fine, just a little tired.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to call you back but we've been busy."
"I figured that."
"We're going to be back in LA next weekend to sing for Stevie Wonder and I would like you to be my date."
She was quiet for a long time.
"Are you there?"
"Yeah I'm here."
"Well will you be my date?"
"I don't know Anthony I really don't feel up to it."
"I know the way I left was wrong and I apologize but I still want to be with you."
She was quiet again then after a few moments she agreed to go.
I really want to make this work. I didn't want to make the same mistakes I did in the past. I could really see this woman being the future Mrs. Anthony Harrell.


Angela
The call from Anthony really tore me up. I felt so full of guilt about what I did I couldn't even talk to him without crying. Him telling me he still wanted to be with me made me feel even lower. It had been four weeks since the abortion.
"Why did he wait so long to call? If he would've called sooner I would've known he still wanted to be with me and I would've...."
"Killed his baby?"
"Don't say it like that Meech."
"How else do you want me to say it?" she asked sarcastically.
"Are you going to let me wear the dress or not?"
Sometimes Meech's honesty really pissed me off.
"So you're just going to go out with him like nothing happened."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine."
She threw the dress on the bed and walked out.
While I was putting on my eyeliner the doorbell rang.
"Angie!" Meech called.
I walked out to the most handsome man I'd ever seen.
He was wearing a black three-piece suit. I ran my hand across my stomach.
What have you done girl? I asked myself as he stood there smiling.
"You look beautiful," he said.
"Thank you. You look nice too. See you later," I said to Meech.
She just waved I knew she was still upset with me.
It was a formal dinner. Everyone looked so elegant in his or her attire. There were different artists giving tribute to Mr. Wonder. Then it was time for Brutha to hit the stage. They sang Ribbon in the Sky and boy did they sang. Anthony made me blush when he sang to me. I wasn't use to this type of attention. He made me feel really special.

"I don't want to take you home yet. Why don't you come by the house?" he asked me as we walked to the car.
The look in his eyes told me what he really wanted.
"I think I need to go home."
I had two more weeks to go before I could have sex again and the way he looks tonight I know I wouldn't be able to resist him.
"Please. I told you I was sorry."
He held me from behind and kissed my neck.
"It's not that," I smiled enjoying his caresses.
"OH!"
He thought it was my time of the month. I should've just told him the truth but the night was so perfect I didn't want to ruin it.
"Well just come by an keep me company."
We made it to his car. He kissed me again this time with much passion.
"I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
"I missed you."
"Me too."
"I love you."
"Me too."

Chapter Nine

Angela
We sat food untouched in silence.
"Wow," he finally said.
"I need you to know that's not who I am. I made a mistake. I thought that was my only way out."
"Wow," he said again.
"Can you please say something besides 'wow'."
"I really don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting to hear this."
He pushed his chair back from the table. I knew what was coming next.
"Look Ang, I have a lot to think about right now I'll call you later."
I walked him to the door. He hesitated then kissed me on my cheek.
My feelings were hurt.
I texted Meech.
Where u @
mikes wassup
I told him
And?
I guess it wasn't real he left...


Anthony
I couldn't concentrate worth shxt at rehearsal thinking about what Angie told me.
"Come on Ant man, we've did these steps a million times what's wrong with you?" Grady fussed.
"I just got a lot on my mind."
"Well we got to be ready for Detroit."
"I know."
I tried to put it out of my mind like it didn't happen but I couldn't and it was showing in my performance. I was forgetting steps, going in the wrong direction, forgetting the words to the songs.
"Hold up," JR finally said. "Ant man what's up? Your mind is obviously somewhere else."
I didn't know if I should tell my brothers but I had to tell somebody. I picked up my water bottle and took a swig.
"Angie was in prison."
"What!" Jake and Papa said in unison.
"What the fuk!" JR said.
"Angie? Little petite Angie? Your girl Angie?" Grady asked.
I shook my head yes.
"You want to know what for?" I asked trying to sound like it didn't bother the shxt out of me.
"What?" they asked.
"Attempted murder."
I took another drink of water trying to wash those words from my mouth.
I told them the story of what she'd told me.
"So what are you going to do? Are you going to stay with her?" Papa asked.
"I don't know what to do."
"If he cherish his life he better stay with her," Grady joked.
I wasn't in the mood for jokes. I seriously needed to know what I should do.
"Come on man this is serious."
"I'm sorry," he said.
"How do you feel about her? I mean do you care about her enough to look past this?" Jake asked.
"I care about her a lot but damn attempted murder that's hard to swallow."
"Look we leave tomorrow, we'll be gone a few weeks, just call her when we get back, that way you have more time to think about it," Grady told me.
Yeah I just need time to think things through.
"Thanks guys I feel a whole lot better that's off my chest but let's keep this between us alright."
They agreed and we got back to rehearsing.


Angela
I was sick to my stomach. I'd been hugging the toilet all morning.
"Are you going to work?" Meech asked.
"I don't think I can."
"Have you told him?"
I felt nauseous again. I ran back to the bathroom.
After I wash my face and brush my teeth I answered her question.
"I called his mom and she said they were in Detroit and didn't know when they'd be back."
"You called his mom? Why didn't you call him?"
"I did. Twice. He didn't answer."
She had an apologetic look on her face.
"Don't look at me like that. I just know what I got to do."
"No Angie."
"Look he doesn't want to be with me so I'm not having his baby."

Chapter Eight

Angela
So we were exclusive.
"I think I should tell Anthony about my past."
Meech was quiet.
"Did you hear me?"
"Do you really think he's ready for that?"
"I don't know but I'm starting to really like him and I think he should know.
"Well you guys have been together damn near a year."
"Technically four months."
"Whatever. I guess if he's really into you then it shouldn't matter."
Meech was right. If this is real nothing I could tell him would hurt our relationship.
I made my famous chicken alfredo and invited him over.
"What's the occasion?"
I sat his plate in front of him and sat down with mine.
"I just want to talk to you."
"About what?" he asked looking suspicious.
"Me. I think it's time I tell you about my past."
"Okay," he said taking a fork full of noodles.
I took a deep breath before I began.
"The night we met at the club I had just gotten off parole."
He dropped the fork back onto his plate.
"Parole?" For what?"
"Attempted murder," I said with my head down.
I didn't have to look at him to know he was bothered by my confession. I continued through the uneasiness.
"My ex physically abused me then one day I lost it."

PAST
"Have you decided on a college yet?"
I knew Reggie wasn't asking out of concern. He could care less if I went to college but I cared I wanted to get out of this situation so bad and college was my escape. The further the better.
"No, not yet."
I jumped when he stroked my hair.
"I'm sorry babe, I'm really trying to work on my temper."
"I know," I said wishing he'd get his hands off me.
My hand shook as I put on my lipstick trying to cover the cut on my lip.
This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my graduation.
I sat in his truck trying to make myself happy. I thought about my parents and how proud they are of me. I held on to the smile on my mother's face when she woke me up this morning. I didn't even know what Reggie talked about as we walked to the football field. I just stayed focused on that happy moment.
"I'll see you later baby," he said and walked toward the bleachers.
"ANNGGGIIIIEEEEE!!!!" I heard Meech call me like Celie did to Nettie in The Color Purple.
"MEECHHIIEE!!" I replied and we ran to each other in slow motion.
We stopped in the middle of the field and did the patty cake song they did.
"Me and you mus neva part..."
Meech was more than my friend she was my sister. She's been there for everything good and bad. I cried as we hugged.
"Mom and Dad here?"
"Not yet."
"So how did you get here?"
I gave her a look.
"Oh."
We found our place in line.
"So is the warden going to let you go to the graduation party?"
"No."
That's what we argued about earlier.
"You need to get out of this relationship. He's not going to change Ang. It's only going to get worse."
My eyes watered because I knew she was right.
After pictures, gifts and goodbyes all I wanted to do was go home and sleep but my parents took me and Meech out for a graduation dinner. Reggie wasn't invited. Every since my mom noticed bruises on my arms my dad hasn't wanted him around. Even though he told them we were just playing my dad didn't buy it.
"Have fun at the party," I told Meech when we dropped her off.
I was out when my head hit the pillow. I didn't even hear my phone when it rang.
Meech came by the next morning to give me the gossip on the party. She was supposed to be going to the store for her mom but she gets easily side tracked.
"Come to the store with me, I got a lot to tell you."
"Dad I'm going with Meech, I'll be back."
She talked nonstop while loading the basket with the items from the list her mom gave her.
"Girl and then she told him she was pregnant and it wasn't his."

Meanwhile...
Reggie waited as he saw Angela's dad leave then he went to the door.
"Hi Mrs. Randolph I know your husband doesn't want me here but I have to talk to Angie she's not answering her phone and I'm worried.
"Hold on."
She goes to Angela's room and finds it empty.
"I'm sorry Reggie but she's not here."
"Do you know where she is?"
"No I don't."
"Thank you."
Reggie leaves angry.

"Are you almost done?" I ask Meech realizing I left my phone at home.
"Yeah why?"
"I left my phone."
Meech looked disgusted.
"What kind of hold does the nicca have on you."
"Meech just hurry up."
When she dropped me off I raced upstairs looked under my pillow and there was my phone with "10 missed calls" all from Reggie. I called him right away.
"Where you at?"
"Home."
"Don't lie to me I was just there."
"Oh I went to the store with Meech."
"Come outside I'm on my way."
He was quiet the whole drive to his place. I could tell his little brain was working overtime.
When we got inside I sat on the couch and he sat in the chair.
"Where's your mom?"
"Out of town. So where were you last night?"
"At home."
"Then why didn't you answer your phone."
"I was sleep."
"Don't fukin lie to me!" He stood up "You went to that party didn't you?"
He walked toward me. I scooted back.
"No."
"Stop lyin to me. I hate being lied to."
SMACK, right across the face. Then he balled up his fists I tried to get up and run but he caught me and pulled me back down hitting me so hard it took my breath. I lay balled up like a baby crying wishing he would just stop. God must've heard me because soon after that he did.
"Now get up and fix me something to eat."
I limped to the kitchen. I heard Meech's voice over and over, "It's only going to get worse."
"Hurry up!" he walked into the kitchen.
"What do you want?"
"Surprise me."
There was a pot on the stove not thinking I grabbed it and hit him in the head. He went down but he didn't stay down.
"You bxtch."
He regained his balance and clocked me in my eye I was blinded for a moment but the pot was still in my hand. The little voice in my head said hit him again. I tried but he caught my hand and punched me in the stomach. I went down.
"You can't hang with me, you weak," he said.
My body was hurt and I could only see out of one eye but I was going to get rid of him no matter what it took. Somehow I got back on my feet and I was leaning over the sink where I saw the butcher knife.
"Did I say you could get up?" was the last words he said to me.
At the end of it all he suffered for ten stab wounds to the left torso and thigh resulting in him having a colostomy bag from the damage to his intestines and walk with a cane for the damage to his thigh muscle. While I had a fractured cheekbone, three broken ribs and multiple abrasions and contusions on various parts of my body as well as a five year prison sentence at the age of 18.

Chapter Seven

Angela
The boys had a surprise party for Nancy's birthday. Anthony invited me to come so I could meet his family. Everyone was nice to me except for Rissy. She gave me and up and down look and a fake hello. It didn't faze me though. I'd met many Rissy's in my lifetime. As with any party the drinks were flowing and everybody was having a good time. Some one called Anthony away so I was leaning on the wall watching Jake and Grady battle. Then JR walks over to me.
"Where's Ant?"
"He's talking to somebody."
"You want to dance?"
"Sure."
It was an innocent dance but I guess Anthony saw more into it. He pulled me from JR and pushed him into the wall. Everyone rushed them trying to pull them apart. The force of him pulling me from JR caused me to lose my balance and I fell on my butt. So much anger was in his eyes. I'd seen that look too many times.

High School, the junior dance. Me and Meech were the life of the party as usual. While dancing a guy came up and started dancing on me from behind, no big deal so I thought.
"Angie!" his voice deep and strong.
"Reggie, I didn't think you were coming."
He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me out of the gynmasium.
"Who's that nicca all on your ass like that?"
"I don't know. We just dancing. Why you trippin?" I said pulling my arm from his grip.
"I don't appreciate my girl acting like a slut."
SLAP!
He slapped me across my face so hard I felt my brain shake.
I don't know where Meech came from but she rushed him from the back. He jerked forward from her push but when she tried to swing on him he pushed her down. I heard the thud as her head hit the ground and she was out.
"Come on," he pulled me away before people saw what was going on.
"I have to see about Meech."
"She okay."
I looked back and she was dazed but getting up.

My eyes adjusted and I was back at the party. I had to get of here. As I got up Grady came over to help me.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," I said.
But I was far from okay. I was shaking. I couldn't go through this again.
JR was still trying to figure out why Anthony attacked him like that.
"I think I better go." I told Grady.
Rissy gave me an evil look as I walked by.


Anthony
"Will you fukin drive!"
HONK! HONK!
"Turn already shxt!"
I was almost to her apartment buildings.
I saw her car. I parked in the stall next to hers not caring who it belonged too. I'd pay the fukin tow I just had to talk to her.
I gave three taps on the door trying not to wake up her roommate.
She opened the door.
"Can we talk?"
She opened the door wider and let me in. I could tell by the look on her face I was going to have to make this good.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, I don't know why I got so angry when I saw you dancing with JR."
"I don't know either."
Just tell the truth man, you really like this girl and you don't want to be hurt anymore.
"Look," I started, "let me just be honest. I'm not really good in relationships, either I hurt the other person or the other person hurts me. A few years back after I broke up with Anaya's mom I met this girl. I thought she was special. We dated close to a year. Everybody told me to be careful but I didn't listen because she was everything I was looking for. When JR got out of jail and needed a place to stay I let him come and stay with us. When I came home one night I saw her coming out of his room. I confronted them."
"And?"
"And long story short JR said she tried to get at him but nothing happened."
"And you believed him?"
"Yeah I believed him he's my brother, but seeing him dancing with you tonight just made me angry. I really like you Angie and I want to be with you but I don't want to be hurt anymore so before this relationship goes any further I have to know that you want to be with me and only me."

Chapter Six

Angela
"Are you going to call or what?"
I held the number in one hand and my cell phone in the other. A week had past and I still hadn't called him.
"I don't know. What if it's the wrong number?"
"You won't know unless you call."
She grabbed the number and my phone.
"No Meech. Don't. I'm serious.
I ran after her.
"I'm serious too. He wouldn't have given it to you if he didn't want you to call."
I did want to know if it was the right number so I stood over her as she dialed.
"It's ringing, she said. "May I speak to Anthony? This is Angela."
She hands me the phone but I'm so nervous I drop it.
"Hello," I said.
"What was that?"
"I dropped my phone. Are you busy?"
"No I was actually in bed. We had a long day."
I glanced at the clock. It was after eleven.
"I didn't mean to call you so late."
"No, I'm glad you did. I want to see you again maybe take you out to dinner or something. If that's alright?"
"Sure I don't mind."
"Is this your number?"
"Yes."
"Okay I'll call you."
"Okay."
"So what happened?" Meech asked when I hung up.
I told her what he said. She looked like she was having spasms the way she was jumping around.
"My girl got a date with a celebrity."
"Don't get all excited it's just a date. I may not even like him."

I was on my lunch break at the Cheesecake Factory when Anthony called. He wanted to know if I could go out tomorrow for dinner. After I accepted and gave him my address I called Meech.
"Meech he wants to go out tomorrow. What am I going to do? I don't have anything to wear and my hair, what am I going to do with my hair?"
I was a jean and t-shirt kind of girl who wore her hair in a ponytail all the time.
If I was feeling good I'd pull out some bangs or throw some curls in my ponytail but that was rare. I didn't even own a dress. Whenever we'd go out I'd wear Meech's clothes.
"Just calm down. I got you. I'll put something together for you and I'll fix your hair. Don't worry."

Dinner started off slow. Neither of us had much to say. But when the champagne came so did the conversation. I told him about growing up in Frisco and he told me about his life growing up. I was dying with laughter as he told me about the things he'd to to his brothers when they were younger.
"I had a good time maybe next time we can go dancing," he told me.
NEXT TIME? He wanted another date? I couldn't believe it.
When I got home Meech was up waiting on the 411 and I was ready to give it.
"Girl he was such a gentleman."
"Did you get a kiss?"
"A peck."
"No tongue?"
"I'm not you."
"Well he better be glad for that."
"You such a ho."
"Well I try."
We both laugh.

We had been talking for about four months. I really didn't think of us as boyfriend/girlfriend but he calls me whenever he can and when he's home he makes sure he visits. Everything was good until I saw a side of him that terrified me.

Chapter Five

Lets start at the beginning.......

Angela
I had just moved to LA from San Francisco. Starting a new life so to speak. My girl Lemetrius AKA Meechie had come out a few months earlier to find us an apartment. It was hard leaving my parents but I was glad to get out, too many bad memories haunting me in Frisco.
I hadn't even had time to unpack when Meech told me we were going out to celebrate my freedom. We went to this popular club in Hollywood. I had a ball.
"I haven't danced like this in a long time," I told Meech.
Dance was my first love. I love all kinds of dance and I was good at it too. I could just look at a routine and learn it. I danced nonstop since we got here so I was taking a break.
"Do you want a drink?" Meech asked me.
"No but I'll go with you to get yours."
While we were at the bar the DJ put on "I can't hear the music" by Brutha. We looked at each other. This was our shxt.
"Girl I gotta do it," I told her.
She made everybody make room for me. I had learned the whole routine by watching their videio and other taped performances.
I heard people asking, "Was she in the video."
"Naw she just got skills," Meech told them.
I was in the zone, lip syncing and moving like I was on stage.

Anthony
Me and my brothers were chillin in VIP when I heard the DJ play our single. We went crazy. I couldn't believe this was finally happening for us. I rapped along with Fabulous and sipped my drink. Then I noticed a crowd forming on the dance floor. I stood on the chair to get a better look at what was going on.
"You gotta be shxttin me."
I saw a girl doing our moves and she was good. I told Grady to come with me so I could get a closer look.

Angela
The crowd began to scream and I continued to move. I raised my arm and put my hand over my chest and did the heartbeat move. I had no idea Anthony and Grady had walked up until I heard a girl scream, "I love you Anthony!"
I looked back.
"Keep going," he said then joined me.
We danced together for the rest of the song.
"You're good," he told me after the dance.
"Thanks," I said blushing.
"I can't believe you learned the whole routine."
"It was a good routine."
"Oh my gosh Anthony I just love you. I'm your biggest fan. Can I have your autograph," a girl asked.
"So what's your name," he asked me after he gave her the autograph.
"You can just call my Miss A," I said showing him the gold A chain my parents got me on my 16th birthday.
Meech bumped me.
"Her name is Angela."
"Angela," he repeated, "that's pretty."
"Thank you."
I noticed the crowd of girls lining up behind them trying to get their attention.
"Ant we better get back," Grady said.
"Do you think I could get your number and call you some time?"
"I don't think so. How about you give me yours."
The crowd started to demand their attention. Grady had to pull Anthony away before they got swarmed by their fans.
"Why were you so mean to him," Meech asked me.
"Girl please I am not trying it be nobody's groupie. He is cute but Papa's my baby."
"Okayyy," Meech agreed as we slapped hands and laughed.
"You were so good out there girl. I don't know why you stopped dancing. You would've been big now Ang."
"Reggie."
"Huh?"
"Reggie is why I stopped dancing."
"Oh yeah."
She put her arm around me.
"I'm glad you're out here.
"Me too."
We danced some more then a guy came up to me.
"Is your name Angela?"
"Yes."
"Anthony told me to give this to you."
I looked down at the piece of paper. It was his phone number.

Chapter Four

Angela
I ignored the call when I saw it was from Rissy. I knew she'd take it personal when she found out.
"Meech I know you have to go home but can you please stay one more night and watch the kids while I go talk to the attorney?"
My phone buzzed again. This time it was Anthony.
"I don't know."
She was reluctant.
"Please Meech you can go shopping in my closet and take whatever you want."
"Okay but you talk to Eric when he calls.
"I will. Thanks so much," I said hugging my friend.
"Are you really sure about this Ang. I mean he did say he didn't have sex with any of them."
"Not yet and besides he's cheated before."
"Before you were married."
"I just can't keep being stupid for guys."
"I know me and Anthony haven't always got along but divorce is so final."
"Well I made up my mind."
I went to take my shower.
Before I went to bed I checked my messages:
"What the fuk is wrong with you? My brother is over here crying his eyes out over you. I knew you was a triflin ho. Don't think you gon get any of his money either I will kill a bxtch over my brothers."
The message from Anthony's number was a hang up.

Rissy's words echoed in my head as I drove to the attorney's office. I understood her anger but what she said was far from true. I didn't want Anthony's money. I really and truly love him.
"I'll let Mrs Wade know you're here," her secretary said.
I was so nervous when I walked into her office.
"So tell me why you're here?" she asked me.
The words played in my head but I couldn't say them.
"Well what did he do to make you choose divorce?"
I broke down.
She handed me a tissue.
"I know it's hard especially when you still love him. I'll give you a minute."
After I pulled myself together I was ready to begin.
"What does he do for a living?"
"He's in a singing group with his brothers."
"An entertainer? So he makes pretty good money," she said writing notes on her pad.
"Yes but I just want child support for the kids and the keep the house."
"How many children," she asked still writing.
"Two boys and one on the way."
She looked up at me with compassion in her eyes.
"How many months are you?"
"Almost five."
Mrs Wade thought before she began to speak again.
"I will need to know all about this relationship because divorce is a big step and if there are ways around it I like to use them. So Mrs. Harrell, how did you meet your husband?"

Chapter Three

Anthony
I paced back and forth my mother's living room.
"She's not answering my calls. I messed up and we're leaving in two days."
"Just try to call her again," my mom said.
"She wont take my calls!"
"I'm just trying to help you out don't yell at me!"
"Sorry. I just need to talk to her before I leave."
"Then go home, son."


Angela
I slept better last night and I didn't wake up crying. I even felt strong enough to get out of bed. I walk toward the kitchen hoping Meech cooked again this morning because I was hungry. I stopped midway to the kitchen. Ant Jr. and Lil Papa were playing Lego's with their dad.
"Look what I made Daddy."
"That's cool, man."
Ant Jr. was showing him what he made while Lil Papa mimicked his brother.
Seeing them playing together made me smile but it was a little too late.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see my sons before I leave and talk to you."
I walk into the kitchen.
He follows me.
"Look, I know what I said hurt you but I was just mad that my brothers been talking to you behind my back like I'm some child. I don't want to lose you."
"It's too late. I talk to an attorney tomorrow."
Meech had a coworker whose mother is a divorce lawyer so she got me a quick appointment.
"What?!?"
"I'm sorry Anthony."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"You should've thought about that when you were entertaining your fans."
"I didn't have sex with any of them."
"Why not?" What stopped you? Surely not me."
"I love you Ang and I don't want a divorce."
"It's too late."
"Alright, I see."
He kissed and hugged his sons and left.
Meech heard the whole conversation. She walked out after he left. I cried in my friend's arms.


Anthony
When I made it back to my mother's house I sat on the couch put my hat over my face and cried.
"Something's wrong with Uncle Ant," Acacia announced to the other's in the kitchen.
"What happened baby?" my mother's voice dripped with concern.
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't speak at first.
She sat next to me.
"She wants a divorce," I finally said still hid by my hat.
My mom hugged me and cried with me.
"Let me call you back," I heard Rissy walk through the door.
"What's going on Mom?"
"Angie wants a divorce."
"What?!"
I could tell in Rissy voice she wanted to go off. I knew how she felt about Ang and she bit her tongue a lot because of me but I told her this was my problem and I'd deal with it. But knowing Rissy I knew she wouldn't let this go.

Chapter Two

Anthony
I was really getting tired of my brothers being in my business I confronted them the next day at practice.
"Who's the punk ass that told Angie about my leg?"
Of course they played dumb.
"Nobody gon fess up? Well y'all don't have to keep telling on me like little bxtches, I told her everything. It's over," I said trying to hold in my hurt.
The rehearsal was tense. Nobody could concentrate. Then Uncle Drano walks in to go over the itinerary for the next city.
"I think we should put "She's Gone" back in the show."
"Naw, I'm not doin it."
"Ant this isn't just about you," Grady said.
"I'm not singing that song."
I walked out to clear my head. Grady follows me.
"Anthony! Anthony!" he called.
He stopped me before I left the building.
"I messed up Grady. I don't want to be like dad man," I shamefully admitted.
"Look none of us are perfect we all make mistakes. Look at me."
He was referring to his situation with his daughter's mother.
"I love her so much Grady."
I covered my face trying not to let him see my watering eyes.
"Just give her time and then go talk to her."
"You right. Tell Unc I'll be there in a minute."
I walk outside and call Ang.


Angela
I barely slept last night from crying. I never thought I'd love or trust another man after what I'd been through with Reggie. Anthony never physically hit me but what he said to me last night did more damage than any fist could.
"You okay?" Meech asked peeping in my room like a little kid.
I wiped my face. That gave her the answer.
"Well I made the boys some breakfast did you want anything?"
"I'm not hungry but thanks."
I turned toward dresser when I heard my cell phone ring.
"You want me to get it?" Meech asked.
"Please."
"It's him," she said.
I wanted so much to take the call but the pain wouldn't let me.
"I don't want to talk to him."


Anthony
"Ang I want to talk to you before I leave again. We leave Friday morning. Uhh...just give me a call or leave a message with my mom."
I wanted to tell her I love her but I knew that wouldn't help right now.
"We really need to talk about this Ang. Just call me."
I walked back into the meeting catching the ending of Uncle's speech. Once he left I found out I'd been out voted. We'd be doing "She's Gone."

Love and A Brutha

Angela
"Daddy!"
I heard Ant Jr. call while I lay in the bed trying to fight back tears.
I pretended to be sleeping when he walked into the bedroom.
"Ang," he whispered as he sat on the bed.
I didn't move.
He put his arm around me feeling the bulge.
"Don't touch me!" I said moving his hand.
"Ang I didn't know."
"How could you? I haven't talked to you in four months!"
I got out of bed.
"I'm sorry."
He sat on the bed with his back to me, head down, rubbing his leg.
"I called you thirty times Ant. Thirty times!"
"I know."
"Why didn't you answer my calls?"
"A lot has been going on."
"Like what? Too many girls to choose from? I'm not stupid. I know you better than you think. You need that attention from women."
"It's not like that," he continued rubbing his leg.
"It is like that. Where's your ring?"
He looked at his hand.
"Yeah, it seems by these you haven't been wearing it for a while."
I grab the pictures I printed from the computer and threw them at his back.
"You forget my best friend is a celebrity fanatic she finds out everything."
There were pictures of them out at different clubs and a few of Ant with other women looking a little more than friendly.
"I just didn't want to lose it," he said referring to the ring.
"No Ant you wanted your freedom. So you know what you got it. You're free."
"Angie don't do this."
"I didn't do this you did."
Silence fell between us for a moment. I tried to calm myself down.
"Do you know how worried I've been about you? Wondering if your leg is okay."
"My leg?" he turned to face me, "How did you find out about my leg?"
His lips tightened.
"Who told you huh? You been talking to my brothers again!"
It slipped I didn't mean to say that.
"You know what I'm tired of this shxt. You want to know the truth Angie well here it is. I haven't been faithful. I fuked up! You happy now? Is that what you want to hear. I'm sorry I can't help it. I guess I really am my father's son!"
He stormed out of the room and out of the house leaving me standing in the floor face full of tears.